The Blind Date
by greenstuff2
Summary: This is just a bit of fun for anyone who has ever had a blind date, or been set up by a mate, after all, anyone can dream ...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Okay, this is just a bit of fun, I hope! The lurgy has finally gone (my fault for being smug about need for flu jab) house clean (as clean as it's going to be anyway) shopping finished (thanks Sainsbug's on-line) cards put up (only 4 so far this year from people we forgot, which is good for us) all presents bought (thanks Amazon Prime) and now moved away from under the tree (thanks Lily for tearing the paper off so we had to do rescue job) all edible decorations moved off tree to stop Lily trying to climb it to get at them (!?) mince pies made, too early to open a bottle (it is, honestly) or to start on the chocolates and I'M BORED and when I'm bored, hey? Yup, you guessed it.**_

 _ **Those of you with little ones, make the most of it, you'll miss it!**_

 _ **-OG-**_

"Nah, not going to be there"

"Please, please promise, I'm not going to set you up it'll just be us and this couple we owe, and I can't stick her" Sara pulled a face "Oh go on, Molls, please, I need you there otherwise I'll have to get pissed and then what?"

"You always get pissed so it won't make no odds whether I'm there or not and I told you last time, nah"

"No, I promise, I said I won't do it again and I won't, there won't be any spare bloke invited for you, cut my throat and hope to die"

"Do it again and I'll bleeding well cut it for you"

Sara has been me oldest and best mate, well, ever since I'd moved away from east London where I grew up. I'd got me first ever assignment for Channel Five and I'd been completely bloody ecstatic to be sent as a trainee Production Assistant, all bright eyed and enthusiastic and ready to do this fly-on-the wall at the wart on the bum of the world that's Catterick garrison. The rest of the crew were a bunch of superior wankers, even the girls, well actually especially the girls. They'd all worked together before, knew each other really well and were so fucking up their own backsides that it was apparently more than their lives were worth to speak to the newbee. To be honest I were well out of my depth and really bleeding lonely and far from home until she rescued me, but that don't mean she's allowed to pick me boyfriends for me, not that I've had one for a long time.

"How long have you two known me, you and Gazza?" Sara pulled a 'I couldn't say off-hand' sort of face and shrugged "Four years, well give or take, four bleeding years and that's well long enough to know that some tosser with a sweaty problem is not gonna be my soul mate, or even be good for a shag, or anything else come to that" I gave a little shudder and made a gagging face, you know, mock fingers down the throat pretending to puke sort of face just to make sure she makes no mistake about how I feel "He was wet … yuk ….. he were gushing, and apart from that, what made you think I would have anything in common with him?"

"Sorry" Sara started to giggle "He's an old Uni mate of Gary's, he hadn't seen him for a while so he might of forgotten about the gushing armpit situation"

"Not funny" I couldn't help laughing "I didn't know where to look and stop bleeding laughing, and I s'pose Gaz'd forgotten all about the sweaty palms, the sweaty back, the sweaty face, it were running down his gob and dripping off his nose … stop bleeding laughing, and he was boring as fuck as well"

"Alright, maybe he was a bit damp, but perhaps that was because you made him nervous"

"DAMP? And your old man had more reason to be nervous than he did, I've done the 'How to look after yourself in a war zone', so he was just bloody lucky it was me night off. Anyhow, I told you last time, I'm not coming, never, ever, again, no way"

Sara is married to Gary, one of them technical backroom clever bugger types of army officer who does something technically backroom clever, no bleeding idea what, but he can be a really good laugh, especially when he's had a couple. Sara calls him her 'two pint giggle' which he is, but even though they're complete opposites, she is my soul mate, can drink for England until that last little one that tips her over the edge, they are the closest thing to the ideal married couple I'm ever likely to come across.

She does some sort of clerical job or some'ing for the army, and I met her in this pub close to the camp where she'd just finished a shit day at work and were gonna drown her sorrows before heading off home and I were contemplating doing a runner back to London so we bonded over a bottle of Merlot or maybe it was two. We kept in touch after I'd finished up there, and had got me promotion to Production Assistant, had gone on and done a fair few assignments, even a couple overseas, and made a resolution, which I've kept, never to be shitty to trainees. The day I moved into me own place in Epsom, near enough to Gatwick and not too far for getting to the studios in Purley, but not next door, was a real red letter day for me and okay it is a bit on the small side and a bit basic, but it's close to the High Street and the pubs, so it's ideal and it's mine.

Gary got posted to Aldershot beginning of last year, and they also found a place in Epsom, but in the posh bit, which was fantastic news for me. I don't think Gary actually wanted to have that much of a commute, but Sara insisted that it was a condition of her not making a bleeding fuss about moving. She was actually okay with being shifted, even if she didn't tell him that, she weren't exactly on the slippery pole of promotion where she was, not only was she married so wasn't free to go wherever they decided to send her, but she'd got this habit of being a bit outspoken on occasion, so maybe if she hadn't got quite such a big gob…? Well, that's what Gary says anyhow, although he reckons that's why we get on so well, cheeky fucker.

The thing I hate about her, and bloody Gary, is that they will keep on trying to set me up with people, usually blokes that I wouldn't touch with someone else's let alone mine, because Sara is totally convinced that I _need_ a bloke in me life, or at least in me bed, obviously never heard of rabbits, and I keep on telling her that I don't need one, okay, I might like one, maybe even want one sometimes, but I'm not desperate.

-OG-

"Come on hurry up, you're late" I could hear that stupid "isn't everything wonderful and I'm so posh" laugh that she puts on as soon as I'd rung the door bell, it was as far from her usual dirty snigger as you can get, so I knew that she had an audience. Might just have been the married couple she'd talked about, but somehow I didn't think so, it wouldn't have surprised me if they didn't even exist.

"How the fuck can I be late? You said it was just us and some couple you hate so what's the bleeding rush? Anyhow I'm not late" Sara was checking her watch at the same time as she was trying so hard to hassle me into the sitting room that she was almost pushing me so that I began to smell a rat, a bloody big one, I FUCKING KNEW IT "If you've done what I think you've done, then you're dead, you know that don't you? In fact I might just piss off now before I wring your neck"

"It was a spur of the moment thing, honestly it wasn't planned or anything, and it wasn't me, honest, it was Gary, he met this bloke when he was doing some IT …. something or other at Headley and they got chatting and Gaz felt a bit sorry for him, his family live bloody miles away so he don't get many visitors and my hero thought it would be nice for him to have an evening out, you know? Away from that place" She were pulling her pleading face, the one she's really good at, the one that says please don't be mad at me and please don't make a scene, show me up "He thought you'd get on well, but he didn't ask him for you, honestly, apparently didn't even tell him you're going to be here"

"Oh it's getting better and better, and don't keep on saying honest, you wouldn't bleeding know honest if it leapt up and bit your bum, and he's not here for me? I don't shittin well believe that for a start and what's up with this one? I mean, you said he's at Headley, so what's up with him? I don't wanna go in there and go 'Holy Shit not again' do I? I might upset him and it's not his fault you keep finding these no-hopers and parading me in front of them, is it?"

"I don't know, I couldn't see anything wrong with him, but I didn't really get much of a look, Gaz took him straight through, I reckon it must be something that don't show"

We both sniggered a bit, I couldn't help it even though I was mad at her, she is my soul mate and she shares my filthy mind, well, she is me mate when she's not trying to palm me off on some wanker, but I was buggered if I was gonna play nicely this time, I'd bleeding well meant it when I said not again so I just went in and sort of said a general "hello" so that all the people in the sitting room turned round to look at me. That included the bloke sitting there chatting with Gary, the bloke that looked up at me and smiled a hello, the bloke that made me have some sort of menopausal hot flush so that I could of done with one of them little paper fan things that girls used to carry round in the olden days.

Holy fucking fuck, there is a Santa Claus after all, cos I mean, shit, no-one actually looks as good as that in real life, do they? I could feel that my mouth was sort of hanging open as I turned and did that widen your eyes as far as they'll go _'I don't believe what I've just seen_ ' face at Sara, who was doing the exact same thing back to me, I reckon she'd just got her first proper, full on, in the face, look at my date for the evening. I might have forgotten to mention that I'd decided that the very least I could do was be nice to this poor soldier who was so far from home, cheer him up a bit, and it's nearly Christmas innit? Goodwill 'n all that.

The soldier stood up and smiled as he shook me hand giving me about five seconds to run me eyes over him, up to the top of his head and back before I would be risking giving him the creeps by being pervy. He's tall, bleeding tall, looks like he works out a fair bit 'n all and he's got loads of dark curly hair and big brown eyes, but I couldn't see where he'd been hurt which was a bit ominous, not that I noticed that much about him, well obviously didn't really look, did I? Then he introduced himself as Charles. He's got a lovely voice, very smooth and posh, but for some reason me mouth had gone all dry and me voice seemed to have gone AWOL so it wouldn't work and Gary had to introduce us. I could see that Charles is a lot older than me, I don't know how old exactly, but I was aware I might be forced to break me own cast iron rule of never messing with anyone who might be the same generation as me dad, although I'm not sure he's that old, and let's face it, it wasn't like I really cared.

When we moved to the dining room table I could see he'd got a bit of a limp, which was a relief cos it probably meant that nothing vital had been blown off, seeing as how I was still desperately trying to think of something clever and witty and charming to say, something that didn't include swearing like a trooper or laughing like a drain, something sweet and feminine and I really didn't need to be distracted with imagining what might be missing. Gazza poured me a bloody great big glass of wine and asked if I was feeling okay, I think I was confusing him as I did my absolute level best to be the 'perfect' guest and to engage the other couple in conversation.

Geoffrey some'ing or other, didn't catch their name cos I was a bit distracted at the time, well he weren't too bad, but her, Yvonne, there I had to agree with Sara. Apparently, she's a big fan of the opera and cos even I know that opera is a sort of posh, intellectual sort of thing, I heard myself saying that I love it too and then prayed she wouldn't ask me about me favourite, I mean, do I look like someone who'd have a favourite opera? The only thing I know about it is that fat women sing it, like at the Last Night at the Proms, I mean that is opera, innit? Sara had this look on her face like she was gonna need to go in the kitchen any second to piss herself laughing so I began to concentrate on finding some'ing to say to Charles, some'ing that wouldn't put him off more than I'd already done.

"So what is it you do, Molly?"

Now, normally I can talk for Britain about me job cos I shittin' well love it, all that organising the talent, the people who go in front of the cameras, making sure we get everything timed perfectly to get our satellite slot when we're doing 'live' from overseas and arranging stuff when we're doing fly-on-the wall, in other words it's right up my street cos I'm the nuts at bossing everyone about and making sure everything goes smoothly, but the bleeding cat had still got me tongue.

Gazza was about to have a nervous breakdown, he was quite obviously as confused as fuck as to what was going on when I put me hand over the top of me glass and said _no more for me thanks_ in this sort of genteel way so that he screwed his napkin up and threw it down on his plate.

"Okay, that's enough, who are you and what have you done with our Molls?"

"Are you suggesting that I usually have some sort of drink problem, that I can't say no?"

"YES and normally we can't get you to shut your gob, especially about your job, so what's going on here?"

If he'd ever heard that expression 'If looks could kill' he only have had to look at his wife to find out exactly what it meant, but Charles were laughing, he seemed to find some'ing very funny, so I sort of swigged me wine, then said yes to a top-up and suddenly things went normal cos the other stuff were far too bleeding hard. I started talking about me job, repeating some downright scurrilous stuff, some of it might even have been true but most of it were lies, about people in the public eye that I'd met and worked with, and then I threatened me audience with death if they repeated any of it or put it on Facebook, and the evening turned into a whole lot of fun. Eventually bloody Geoffrey and bloody Yvonne said something about needing to get back for their babysitter _, they've got kids? They've had sex? Really_? That is so bleeding unfair, mind you I wouldn't want to have sex with Geoffrey, still ….. Anyhow the miserable fuckers started breaking up the party, which was a bit of a shame, just when I'd started to really enjoy myself.

Charles was obviously worried about overstaying his welcome, as if, so he also started making noises about going, and I decided I would leave as well, no point ordering two taxis, was there? I said something about how lovely it had been to meet him and he said ditto, mind you I couldn't help thinking it could have been even lovelier if he'd taken his shirt off and judging from the expression on Sara's face she wouldn't have objected either, but he offered to share his taxi with me, to see me safely home cos it was late and the expression on her face changed to something else entirely. I know she's married to Gary and he's lovely and she loves him to bits, wouldn't change him for the world, but she obviously doesn't think there's any harm in doing a bit of window shopping.

So then there we were in the back of this taxi, which stunk of Jeyes fluid and one of them little tree air freshener thingies so that I didn't wanna think about why, and I was back to trying desperately to come up with something to talk about which didn't involve inviting him to stick his tongue down my throat. I'm not even sure he likes me, he must think I'm some sort of raving nut job with a booze problem, half the evening I was this drooling mute with all the personality of a dead haddock, who apparently loves opera, I mean o _pera?_ holy shit. Then, when I'd finished lying about that and I'd necked a couple of glasses I came to life and turned into this gobby indiscreet show-off who didn't know when to put a bloody sock in it.

Terrific, well done Molls, that was brilliant even by your standards, you meet this bloke, the first bloke you've fancied in just about forever, and instead of looking to find a way to actually have sex for the first time this year, or maybe even last year, it's been so long I can't remember, you behave like a total lunatic and blow it.

He was a proper gentleman, wouldn't let me pay anything towards the taxi fare, just asked the driver to wait while he saw me up to my door, which meant, bollocks, there was no way he was planning on coming in for anything …. coffee, strip me clothes off, strip his clothes off, whatever ….. He just carried on with the gentlemanly thing by taking me key out of me hand and unlocking me front door, so either he was being a real gent or he thought I was too pissed to find the lock on me own, which I definitely wasn't, then he kissed me on the cheek, said goodnight and went to walk, or rather limp, back downstairs to the taxi.

I was still cursing that I hadn't had quite enough guts, or had enough to drink, to grab hold and push him into the flat, when he stopped at the top of the stairs.

"Molly?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening?"

I needed to think very carefully about me answer, which I did for, I dunno, about half a nano-second "Yeah, I'd love that"

"Lovely, I'll look forward to it" He was laughing as I nodded, a big grin on my face that matched the one on his "I'll pick you up here then, what about 7.30? Oh, just one thing, please can we not talk about bloody opera all evening, I hate it"

Now, I could be totally wrong here, but I have a feeling that he knew!


	2. Chapter 2

Why does time go so slowly when you've got all sorts of shit you've got to get done and you need to finish work and get off home to do it? I'd spent most of the morning sitting there in front of my PC in the noisy bear pit that's our office, just bloody daydreaming. I mean, I kept trying to concentrate on stuff cos apart from anything else doing some work would make the time go a bit quicker, and I also had shed-loads to get through, but I've spent most of the morning just sitting there "thinking" instead.

Sara is driving me potty, she keeps on trying to ring 'n then text cos she obviously wants a blow by blow post mortem, which wouldn't take very long would it? But I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to tell her about me having a date, cos I can hear her voice now giving me the benefit of her so-called advice, but then I turned me phone back on in case he were trying to call me. The only problem is that he doesn't actually have me number but it took a bloody age before I remembered that, told you I was daydreaming ….. muppet.

In the end I gave up trying to concentrate on timings 'n that for some shit docu about 'ash die back' or something, I mean who gives a fuck? Well, obviously people do, most likely there are lots of them, but right now, not me. So, I started making a list of everything I've gotta do before me gorgeous Santa Claus soldier picks me up, sometimes it's really comforting to make lists, makes you feel like you're in control even when you're not, but I had this great big panic and started editing cos I'll probably have less than two hours between getting home and going out. The flat's a bloody tip, it was probably just as well he never came in last night; he'd have thought I was a complete slut. So maybe if I just keep the fairy lights on and nothing else he won't be able to see that I haven't done any housework since, dunno, mind you, the flat isn't the only thing that needs TLC, I could do with a bit as well.

Finally I answered the phone to Sara, I had this pang of conscience about blanking her but when I told her I'd have to ring her back at lunch cos I'd been late in for work and we were a bit busy, she nearly had a Julius Caesar in her rush to find out all the details of last night. She thought I was late cos I were still in bed with him this morning, well, she did until I put her out of her misery and explained that no such bloody luck.

"Oh bollocks" She thought for a minute and I had this feeling that she was just a little bit relieved, that she'd been well, just a little teeny, tiny bit jealous "So, you never got to see him naked, shit, what went wrong?"

"Nothing went wrong, he's just a gentleman, that's all" I thought about it for a minute "Maybe he doesn't do one night stands, I'm not sure I do, either"

"What are you talking about? He's a bloke isn't he? Of course he does one night stands" She didn't bother to say anything about me, she knows I don't do one nighters, well I don't usually have sex, full stop, not for a bleeding long time anyhow.

"He might not, or maybe he just don't fancy me"

"Don't be ridiculous, every bloke you've ever met fancies you"

"Not true, but it's really nice of you to say so, thanks"

She was giggling away so that I wasn't sure whether she'd meant it as a bloody huge joke, as I thought about whether or not to tell her then decided that I wanted to say it out loud to someone, it sort of made it real "He's asked me out, you know, on a date, a proper date, we're going to have dinner tonight"

There was silence for a minute as she thought about it "You didn't think you should say you were busy tonight, you know, make him wait a day or two, not look too keen, or ….. ?"

"Nah, I bloody well didn't, for a start he might've changed his mind if I'd done that" I didn't add that I might of changed my mind, but then she knew that "And 'ow come it would have been okay to shag him last night then? I mean, wouldn't that have looked as if I were a bit keen?"

"Good point" She thought for a minute "Listen, tell him it's good for him, it protects blokes against all sorts, heart attacks, prostrate cancer, you know, staves off dementia, it can be better than a happy pill, it's good for all sorts of stuff"

"What?"

"It's true, I read it somewhere"

"I don't care where you read it or whether it's bloody true or not, I am not going to tell him any of that shite, what do you take me for? And anyhow, when do you reckon would be a good time to start saying that sort of stuff, when we're eating our starters or should I wait till we're having pudding?"

"Well okay, I just thought I'd mention it, no need to be like that"

"I'm not being like anything, but I really don't think I want to be with anyone who needs persuading that they should cos I'm some sort of health benefit"

"Okay, another good point, but I know you, so just make sure you don't say no, well, not unless he scratches his crotch or asks you to pay for dinner or something, cos if you bin him without giving him a chance I'll never speak to you again, you got that?"

-OG-

It was a rush to clean up a bit, to hide the dirty washing, change the sheets, run a cloth round the bathroom, that sort of thing cos I didn't want him to _know_ I'm a slut and there was no harm being prepared was there? I scrubbed and moisturised and made bloody sure there wasn't a single hair anywhere where there shouldn't be any hair so that left the hair on me head and a landing strip, then I slapped on so much body stuff that if anyone had hugged me I would have popped up like a champagne cork. I found me best bra and knickers, which lucky for me were clean, that'd been one of the things that had been worrying me cos I couldn't remember and there's no harm in wanting to feel your best. The same thing went for me one and only decent dress, usually I'm a jeans girl, haven't really got a lot of choice, but I'd worn them the night before and I wanted to show I could make the effort if I tried. I did me hair 'n make-up 'n that so that Iwas all ready when he rang the bell, course I hadn't had a cup of tea or nothing, hadn't had enough time so I was totally worn out but all clean and shiny. He was bang on time so I made myself count to ten before I opened the door in case I looked too keen, and then had another one of them Santa Claus moments.

"You look beautiful" He smiled and it were as well he was busy pecking me on the cheek cos the cat had got my tongue again even though I'll bet he says that to all the girls "Are you ready?"

I nodded to show yes, I was, it was just as well I didn't need words cos I couldn't think of any, anyhow, I wanted to think very carefully before I said anything to him at all. No jokes about being quite happy with a take-away or a sandwich … later, cos even if he knew it was s'posed to be a joke it would likely scare him off completely, he must already think I'm some sort a nut job 'n I don't want him to think I'm a slapper on top.

"I hope you like Chinese, I tried to find a sushi bar, but I couldn't so I hope this'll be okay"

Shit, just how many lies had I told him last night? And was that one of them, that I eat raw fish? Me? Jesus, I can't remember saying that, but who knows cos when my mouth gets a bit carried away ….. have to say I'm bloody glad he couldn't find one, sushi bar, that is.

"I prefer Chinese anyhow"

"What, more than fish?"

"Love fish, just like mine cooked with chips, sorry"

We were just sitting down in the Chinese and I'd managed to get me shit together enough to speak in whole sentences, which was a bit of a breakthrough, so I gave this sort of little shrug. I wanted, well I needed, to tell him that I wasn't always a bleeding nightmare like last night, and I really needed to get it said and out the way, so that I could take a deep breath and relax a bit. I knew I was bodging about as if I couldn't sit still or needed a wee or some'ing, what me Nan calls having ants in me pants.

"I'm sorry about last night, you know, being a bit ….. gobby"

"You've got nothing to apologise for" He smirked, making me go all, you know, sort of fluttery inside "I had a really good time, I haven't laughed like that for ages, you were so funny"

"Funny?"

"Yup, especially when you started telling that Yvonne that you loved opera" For some reason he threw his head back and started laughing out loud again.

"What you suggestin' here?" I was trying very hard not to laugh myself, in fact I had to bite my lip to stop myself, his laugh is very infectious "I might do, you don't know, I might love opera, I could be one of them, what do you call them, opera buffs"

"Go on then, name three"

"Name three what?"

"Operas"

Shit, whatever made me start this? "Okay, let me see now, Tommy, that's one, that's the rock opera, innit? ummm, then there's that one they used for the rugby, with that woman, what was it? Some'ing or other, ummm Nessun Dora, some'ing like that, no, that's not her name is it?" I shrugged "Okay, can't think of anything else off hand but I will, just give me a minute" I was doing some frantic searching through my almost non-existent memory bank of classical music "Madam Butterfly" I resisted the temptation to stick me tongue out and say 'so there' cos that wouldn't have been very sophisticated would it? "Look, I were just trying me best to make her feel, you know, make her feel at home … AND WILL YOU PLEASE STOP LAUGHING"

"Sorry, but I don't think that rugby one is an opera actually, Molly, I think it's called Nessun Dorma, and I'm pretty sure it's the name of a song that comes from an opera, I do know it's not a singer called Dora" He was now doing his best and failing bloody miserably to stop laughing at me.

"I thought you said you didn't wanna talk about opera, you said you hated it and I had to promise not to talk about it all evening"

"Yeah I did, didn't I?" He put his hands up like he was expecting me to wallop him and was protecting himself "So tell me, all that other stuff you told us last night, how much of that was true?"

"All of it" I did me best to paste an innocent expression on me face as he raised one eyebrow, he obviously didn't believe a word about that either "Well, most of it, oh alright, if you must know, not a lot, sorry"

He raised his eyebrows and smirked as I sort of tried to explain, well if you can ever explain telling downright porkies to make other people laugh.

"Look, some people might think it were lying, you know, when we make that stuff up, but we all do it and mostly it's just a bit of fun, as long as it don't get spread about, or no-one puts it on Facebook or Twitter or nothing and you're not gonna do that … are you?"

"Nope, but you're very lucky you don't get sued"

"I ain't worth suing, mate, haven't got any money"

"You can still be sued and then whoever sues you would end up owning you for the rest of your life"

"Really?"

He nodded "Fraid so"

"Shit"

He'd obviously had enough of trying to scare the bloody life out of me so we moved onto hobbies and the stuff we like doing and the stuff we hate and he told me about him and singing so I put on this serious face and asked him if he was any good and before he could answer offered to sort him a gig on Five. He said that lovely of me as that was, sarky bugger, would I like to just piss off and could I please stop winding him up now to get me own back, so we moved on to talk about me and Sara learning to cook.

"Are you any good?"

"Course … not, I mean, Sara's not bad, you can usually tell what it's s'posed to be, but I'm total shit, why do you think I need to go to classes?"

"I don't know, you could be 'cordon bleu' for all I know"

"Yeah could be … if I knew what that was I'd let you know, so I'm guessing I'm not" He was still laughing at me.

"So, what can you cook now you've been to the classes?"

"Toast?"

"Lovely"

"W _ill you stop bloody laughing at me"_ I heard him mutter a 'sorry' as he pulled a face showing he was doing his best to stop pissing himself "So, Mr. Smartarse, can you cook then?"

"Nope, I'm excellent at ordering take away though"

"Oh good, we've got something in common"

The date was going brilliantly well, we both seemed to be having a really good time, well, I definitely was, we was doing a whole lot of flirting and he hadn't stopped smirking and laughing since we'd sat down. There was one hell of a lot of eye contact as he leaned forward and asked me to tell him what my job was really all about so I did and he never once got that glazed look that people get when they're bored shitless so that you have to start embroidering to make it interesting. I asked him to tell me about his life in the army and he did, told me how he'd gone to Sandhurst from Uni and had been in the army ever since, and how he loved it, didn't want to do anything else even though he'd got in the way of some trigger happy Taliban shitbag with a gun which meant that he'd ended up in Headley with bullet holes, which still bloody hurt even now.

He told me about being worried about getting fit enough to carry on doing what he does and I wanted to say something clever and comforting to make him feel better but I couldn't think of anything, so I just leaned across the table and patted his hand. He wound his fingers round mine and started running his thumb across me fingertips, looking down at our hands, then entwined his fingers with mine and for a few seconds we ran out of things to say as we looked at each other and me stomach disappeared in a fast lift.

"Shall we go?" He lifted me hand to his lips and kissed me knuckles sending me stomach off in another fast lift.

This time he didn't say good night on the doorstep so we was sitting at my kitchen table drinking tea, or horrible instant coffee in his case. He'd looked around when we came in and said that my place was exactly how he'd imagined it'd be, I hope he didn't mean a bit grubby, and tacky, tatty and cheap, like Gazza always says, well he don't say cheap, but still ….. The conversation between us dried up almost completely as we kept taking these little glances at each other then looking down at our cups when our eyes met and I could feel this 'anticipation' as I sat there wondering how the fuck I was going to get around to suggesting we moved out of the kitchen without looking or sounding like some sort of slapper.

We was getting on really well, really, really well, but it turned out to be a bit too well for him, cos then he told me, then the bloody axe fell, didn't it?

Told me all about being in the middle of a shitty divorce, that he couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a good time and that it had taken his mind off of what was going on in his life. WIFE? Bollocks, I never saw that one coming, never even considered that he might have someone, although why it wouldn't of occurred to me, given the way he looks and what a nice bloke he is, what good company 'n that, I dunno. The sad thing was that I still would of, given half a chance, wife or no bloody wife, but I realised it weren't going to happen, that he would feel it was wrong for all sorts of reasons. I really didn't think he was one of them "my wife don't understand me but you can make me feel a whole lot better" blokes so I got where he was coming from, but that didn't mean I had to like it….. .

I think he felt a bit the same way actually, cos when he'd finished telling me we had this big hug, and he seemed to find it difficult to just let go and leave. He whispered something about wishing things could have been different before he kissed me, all chaste, closed mouths, and then pushed off without looking back.

-OG-

It's August 28th today so Christmas is almost here in tele land, and it'll be a year Christmas since I saw him. I sort of remember him clearly, well, the INFO sheet bought it back, so I've been sat in front of my PC for bloody ages thinking about that first time I had anything to do with the army and soldiers, the bleeding nightmare that was Catterick and then meeting Sara and then Gary and then, because of them, meeting him, Charles …. I wonder if he remembers me the way I remember him?

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Sorry but I needed for their date not to end up as a match made in heaven, or at least for them not to end up in Molly's bed, because I wanted to expand the story into a scenario I had in mind before I wrote the original Blind Date. I hope you enjoy it, I would be grateful if you could review for me, thank you.**_


	3. Chapter 3

It makes me go a bit hot and sweaty and embarrassed now to even think about that evening at Sara's with all that crap I come out with about opera, and then all that showing off, and then that evening in the Chinese when he'd said about feeding me sushi, I mean fuck sake, do I strike anyone as someone who'd eat raw fish? I have a horrible suspicion I might of lied and said I love it, wouldn't surprise me, or maybe he _was_ just taking the piss, I don't know now, all I do know is that I so would of and he wouldn't, or couldn't. Now, I wonder just how much of what he told me that evening were the truth. I mean, obviously the army stuff were true, well I think it was, but the stuff he told me when we was in me kitchen, that stuff about his wife and their divorce? Who knows? It might of been that he's very married but was tempted cos of being away from home with not many visitors so he was a bit fed up. It wouldn't of taken a genius to work out that I was keen and maybe then he decided that he shouldn't or that he didn't want to and had wrapped it into 'I would if I could, but I can't … so I won't'

Afterwards I'd had to tell Sara some total bullshit because, of course, she rang next morning almost screaming down the bloody phone "I NEED DETAILS, DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ANYTHING OUT" so that I had to make some'ing up, I can't remember what now, I couldn't tell her what he'd told me could I?

-OG-

Things have changed for me in the last few months, I've worked hard and done well so that I know I'm first choice PA now and after that evening, ….. well, I sort of decided to start going out with people instead of always saying 'nah'. When I first went out on dates I kept on spending the whole evening having to tell meself to _Stop Thinking About Charles_ and to concentrate on the bloke in front of me and even when I tried really hard to stop going there, all I kept thinking was _Why The Fuck Hasn't He Called_? Even then I didn't fancy any of the blokes I went out with, I tried, I really did try, no matter what Sara says, but I didn't want to…..you know, with any of them, I couldn't help it, I just didn't want to.

But it's been a while now and I've got meself into a "relationship".

It's a very short term thing with this bloke Dylan, course he might not realise just how short term it is, cos, stupid bitch that I am, I work with him. I mean, Dylan? who the fuck calls their kid after a character in the Magic Roundabout? When he'd first arrived we was all sure his name was Gordon or Herbert or some'ing and that he was calling himself Dylan cos he was trying to be one of the 'cool' kids, but turns out it is his name. He's one of the sound engineers and not bad to look at, I'll give him that, he's got dark hair and blue eyes, not bad looking actually, if a bit on the short side, not that that matters very much when you're as titchy as I am. Shame he's a total wanker who'd get this week's prize for being shittin' useless. He needs a road map and a set of written instructions and life's too bloody short for any of that bollocks, it's just that it's a bit awkward to know how best to bin him, what with working with him 'n that.

I have no clue how I got myself into it, it's not like he was the man of me dreams or anything, it was just that I were a bit pissed and lonely one night when we were all out together and I needed a hug. I knew it weren't gonna work, but you know me, stubborn as fuck, so I tried, I really tried, well that was until he called me 'sweetie', I mean, SHIT, really? Sara pissed herself laughing when I told her then asked if he was still alive. All I'm hoping is that he can take a hint cos I'm not sure how best to spell it out.

When I first read the sheet about the Christmas special I were just bloody pissed that Dylan was involved as well, so I wouldn't be getting away from him. I'd hoped that the time I was away on this gig, which I'd sorta known was coming up for weeks, would let him forget all about me, so … bollocks. Then I'd scrolled down and read the rest.

-OG-

"Whose idea was this? Whoever came up with it in the first place or sanctioned it, is an irresponsible moron, hasn't anyone sat down and explained just how dangerous it's going to be? What risks these people will be taking or how difficult it will be for us to do our jobs properly if we're having to baby sit a bunch of media luvvies at the same time? Fuck sake"

"Sorry Charles, it came from the highest level of stupid this time, so we've got no choice, or rather you haven't, you'll just have to get on with it I'm afraid and hope that no bastard starts taking pot shots at them, that even the bloody Taliban can read the word Press and can understand that there's a plus side to the world's media being left to get on with it. Shooting them or trying to blow them up would be a fucking own goal for the little shits, not that that seems to bother them, mind you. I have to say you are going to have to be very vigilant, it won't do your career a lot of good to have a bunch of dead journos on your record either"

"Thanks …. You are really not selling it to me Sir"

"Lay down the rules, make sure that they understand that you're in charge and threaten to send them all packing if they even think about arsing about, also make sure they understand that none of these arseholes are nice people to do business with, you know the sort of thing, a few graphic descriptions of what passes for entertainment in Talibanland. Scare them all bloody witless, basically as though you're talking to a bunch of retarded squaddies, but remember they're probably even more stupid than that"

"Yes, Sir"

"Sorry" He pulled a sympathetic face, glad that it wasn't going to be him in day to day control on the ground of this mission, it was one of those that if all went well there would be plaudits and back slapping galore, mainly for him, and if it went badly it definitely wasn't going to be his fault, and everyone knew what a nightmare it could be when the press were embedded. "Now" He looked across at Charles with a speculative expression as if the thought had only just that minute occurred to him "Are you happy about doing this stuff this afternoon or would you like me to do it for you?"

Charles was tempted to say that he would do it, just to see what the Major would come up with next as an excuse for taking over the meeting that afternoon. He knew, as everyone else did, that his boss relished every opportunity that came his way to do a bit of grandstanding and if at all possible to get his face on television, short, of course, of actually going out to Afghanistan and doing the mission being followed by Channel Five, and that Parkes would believe that there was every chance of cameras being there and rolling that afternoon.

"I've got plenty of other stuff to get on with, Sir, so I'd be grateful if you could ….. "

-OG-

Afghanistan? I thought that all that shit had finished out there and that our troops had come home, and it sort of reminded me about him again, although I knew he wouldn't go back, not after everything what had happened to him last time.

The bloke in the army uniform standing at the front talking to Mark and Joe was as far from my soldier as you could possibly get, this one looked more like that Minion Bob thing that me little brother had for his birthday, or, as I heard someone behind me say in a bloody loud whisper, Captain Mainwaring from Dad's Army, whatever, he didn't look anything like the bloke who took me to dinner at a Chinese, shame. When he turned round you could see that he might be a bit younger than Mainwaring, but I'm a crap judge of men's ages. Anyhow this bloke was too short, too fat and definitely too old with more than a hint of a comb over, so that even if my one had put on a shed load of weight and lost most of his hair he couldn't shrink that much or get that old and ugly in less than a year, could he, so it's definitely not him, didn't really think it would be, but you're allowed to dream aren't you?

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Major Parkes, and I've come along this afternoon to talk to you about ….. "

"What did he say his name was?"

Course I should of been listening but I weren't ready cos I was off in me daydream again and I thought I'd managed a quiet whisper in Angie's ear but, as she tried to answer out of the corner of her mouth, I saw that it obviously hadn't been quiet enough. The fat soldier repeated his name in one of them very posh, very superior sort of voices, looking straight at me with his eyebrows raised. Now, maybe they all talk like that, but it wasn't exactly the best start I've ever made, first impressions again Moll…..

"Oops" Angie was giggling as she nudged me, but I was still busy thinking that on the whole I was glad that it was 'Napoleon' doing this cos I'm not sure how easy it would have been for me to just sit there and concentrate properly if Charles had been standing there telling us all what was what. One thing for sure was that it didn't matter how hard he tried, old Napoleon up there weren't ever gonna be able to stop anyone concentrating.

I was sitting on the edge of one of the tables at the back with the rest of the sensible people, those who know better than to sit at the front and draw attention to themselves or who are not busy trying to brown-nose someone, and I was making loads of notes of all the things we should be shit-scared of, well, according to the horror stories Napoleon were dishing out that is. He'd obviously missed out on his ideal career cos he looked as if he was really enjoying himself doing the telling, shame for him that he was far too fat and ugly for tele. I was taking bets with Angie as to who would be the first to come up with a good excuse to chicken out of going, well apart from her, she reckoned they could do very well without any make-up, didn't need it, and me that is, cos we'd both already decided that we're gonna volunteer for the docu about the sex lives of bloody brown frogs or the fly-on-the wall week in Holloway, the alternatives everyone else in the room was doing their best to avoid. Getting shot at or even worse, kidnapped and tortured, by the Taliban didn't look like a lot of laughs, not much fun, so give me brown frogs any day, or even Holloway, at least there no-one was gonna shoot me.

I glanced round behind me, I don't know why, I think I might of just felt someone's eyes on me back, you know how you know when someone's staring at you?

It was obvious he'd remembered me cos he nodded when he met me eyes but there was no smile, not even a hint of one anywhere, in fact he looked as miserable as bloody sin to see me, so that I wondered what the fuck I'd done to deserve him looking at me like that. The last time I'd seen him we'd spent the whole evening flirting and laughing and taking the piss out of each other, well if I'm being honest it was mostly him taking the piss out of me and smiling into each other's eyes, and thinking about, well, don't know about him, but I know what I was thinking about ….… I felt the smile on me face disappear like someone had turned the switch off as I went back to facing the front and pretending I was listening to every word of Jackanory. I didn't turn back and look at him again, even though I really wanted to, I wanted to check out if he was still looking at me like that, but I didn't, well, two of us could play at that game, couldn't we? Whatever the fuck that game was.

-OG-

"Remembered the names of any operas yet?"

"Oh, ha ha, funny"

We were all milling about the meeting room doing this so-called 'getting acquainted' hour that the knobs in charge love so much, which in this case meant that all the girls in the crew, and a couple of blokes as well so that I were well tempted to tip them off about wasting their time, were following him around with their tongues hanging out, which for some reason, royally pissed me off. He spoke from somewhere behind me, which made me jump cos I thought I knew where he was all the time, I'd been watching him out of the corner of me eye most of the afternoon.

"Sorry, did I startle you?"

"Nah, s'okay … thought you hated opera" I took a deep breath cos I could hear that if I weren't very careful I'd sound a bit like a whiney little girl, and that any minute I'd be saying 'it's not fair, why weren't you pleased to see me? I were pleased to see you, 'n I thought you liked me'.

"So, how are you anyway, how's your leg, is it okay now?"

"Yup, it's fine, thanks" He finally gave me that bloody Santa Claus smile "I'm absolutely fine, you?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, I'm good, 'n I'm glad to see that you're all better, all recovered 'n that"

"Thanks" There was this big long silence as we both tried to think what to say next and just kept looking away and then looking back at each other, grinning. I was dying to ask what had happened with his wife and their divorce or whether he was shacked up with someone else now and why he hadn't rung me for fuck sake? So no biggies then.

"So, we're shadowing you?"

"Yup"

"In Afghanistan?

"Yup"

"Are you bleeding nuts? Or a sucker for punishment or some'ing?"

"I hope I'm neither, I don't know, maybe it's just, you know… "He shrugged "That I needed to do it" He didn't look like he wanted to talk about it, or maybe he wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

"I thought you'd got the hump with me for some reason, you didn't exactly seem chuffed to nuts when you saw me in there, you know, when bloody Napoleon over there were trying to scare the shit out of us"

"What did you call him?" He put his head back and started to laugh the way I remember him laughing at me before, then put his hand up to show he wasn't expecting an answer "Of course I haven't got the hump with you, why would I? Don't be silly" He crossed his arms across his chest then put his hands under his armpits as he rocked backwards and forwards and looked down at the floor "It's just, well, to be honest, Molly, when I saw you it was from the back to start with and I was bloody hoping and praying that I was wrong and that it wasn't you"

"Oh thanks a bunch"

"No, no don't get me wrong, it's really lovely to see you again, really lovely and I wondered if you were going to be part of this" He waved his arm round indicating the room full of people all chatting and drinking "But this whole thing is going to be very difficult and exceedingly dangerous and Major Parkes was right when he said …"

Before he could get any further with explaining what the fuck he was talking about cos so far we'd had that on the one hand he was really pleased to see me and on the other he was praying that it weren't me, bloody Dylan suddenly had one of them stupid blokey moments. He'd raced across to where we was chatting so he could put his arm round me shoulder and bristle at the intruder like Sara's cat does when a stray comes in their garden. I never introduced them cos Charles, being a gentleman, quickly said as how it had been lovely to see me again and took himself off and I made me one thousandth resolution to bin Dylan as fast as I bloody could.

"Do me a favour and just fuck off, would you?" I shrugged his arm off of me and tried very hard not to grit me teeth "That was fucking rude, Dylan, I were having a chat, you know, a conversation with someone I know, an old friend as it happens, so could you please just …. leave me to get on with talking to him"

"Who is he?"

I didn't bother to answer, I didn't see why I should, it weren't any of his bloody business and I could see Charles on the other side of the room, well it helps that he's taller than most people, looking like he was getting ready to leave, smiling and nodding and shaking hands with people as he moved towards the door. I tried me bloody best to catch up with him by pushing me way through groups of my so-called work colleagues who were all busy necking free booze as fast as they could and doing their best to get legless.

By the time I got to the door he'd gone, well, he was striding off down the corridor when I called him but he didn't really do much, he never came back or even stopped for long enough to carry on our chat or nothing, he just turned, looked at me, then smiled and waved his hand in the air in a sort of goodbye before carrying on walking down the stairs. Bugger, still, who was it said they wasn't going? Cos it definitely wasn't me, I think you must be getting me confused with someone else.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for your lovely feedback, as always it makes it all worthwhile as it makes the Author's Wobbles (a well-known disease we all suffer from) go away for a bit. Next update Monday, all being well, so have a really good weekend and see you then xx**_

-OG-

-OG-


	4. Chapter 4

"I thought you said you were going to sort him out, tell him once and for all"

"I tried, I did tell him but he wouldn't fucking listen, he says he loves me and that he's gonna tell everyone, he's gonna slut-shame me, that it'll be what I deserve"

"How can he do that? Everyone knows that the two of you've had a thing, don't they? I thought he'd already told them all because he was so pleased with himself getting in your knickers, so how does that work?"

"Oh, thanks for reminding me Sara"

"Well, you know what I think of him"

"Trouble is, we're not talking about me and him, and him getting in my knickers, I could live with that, in fact I don't really care, but he says he's gonna tell everyone about me and Charles"

"But there's nothing to tell, is there?"

"Nah, but that won't stop him making shit up, will it? And everyone will believe it cos everyone always does believe stuff like that and then I'll get bumped from the Afghan gig, they won't let me go if they think I've been shagging one of the targets, it's a definite 'no, no' and I want to go"

"That's not fair"

"Nah, course not, but no-one gives a rat's bum about fair round here, most of these would be fighting for your job before the coffin lid was nailed down"

"The arseholes you work with make the army look like choirboys" She thought for a minute "Tell him you'll tell everyone that you've dumped him because he's got a little prick, well that's a good name for him anyway, isn't it? It's what he is after all."

"Yeah, but people always say that when they've been dumped don't they? It's the first thing you say about an ex and there's no way I'm gonna let anyone think it was that little shit that dumped me"

I could hear her laughing as I put the phone down but it wasn't in the least bit funny, I wanted to scream and spit and stamp, and throw stuff. I'd done me best to be kind to him, I'd tried very hard not to hurt his feelings when I told him it would be for the best all round if we ….. Just didn't ….. Any more, well, I was a lot nicer than he deserved anyhow. That was when he come out with all this crap about loving me, I mean, what? WHAT? Why the fuck is it always the wrong bloke who says stuff like that? I had to spell it out for him then didn't I? Even then he didn't seem to get it, and then he decided it was all to do with me having a thing with Charles, or a thing about Charles, I'm not sure which, I don't think he is either, but it's such a load of bollocks and I don't know where he even got that idea from.

We'd been out to Brize Norton to film them going off cos bits of it are going into the clip for the opening credits and I'd smiled at Charles as he was stood there with the rest of the soldiers, really smiled cos I sort of hoped that he might of forgotten all the shit but he just nodded, no hint of a smile. So I guess we're really not friends any more, and I dunno why. One thing I did know was that I wasn't interested in being with Dylan when we got back, I knew that when he said 'lets go out' that he meant 'let's have a shag' but I'd already made up me mind, never again, I just had to get on and tell him. It didn't go well.

To make things even worse he caught me going through the Brize stuff, frame by frame. I didn't know he was standing right behind me, watching, cos our office is so sodding noisy that you can't hear anyone moving about, and anyhow we train ourselves to ignore it. I heard myself get all arsey cos I couldn't think of a good excuse for why I was doing what I was doing so I told him it was none of his fucking business. He didn't like that much either.

-OG-

We had this meeting about all the health and safety stuff, checking that everyone was inoculated against all sorts of horrible shit like Diphtheria and Tetanus 'n that and I kept on hoping that Dylan would fail some'ing, or that his passport would be lost or out of date or that he'd been refused a visa, anything really, but no such bleeding luck.

Anyhow, apparently you can't drink the water, even in the hotel, and you have to use bottled stuff to brush your teeth and you can't drink milk unless it's been boiled, hope the hotel knows that, and you have to be careful about the way you dress, we were given a long list of what NOT to wear and how NOT to behave in public, even in the hotel. There's rabies there so you have to be very careful not to touch any animals and whatever you do, don't get yourself bitten. Shit, I mean I still want to go, but by the time they'd finished with the DON'T do this and the NONE of that, and the watch out for this and watch out for that, it was beginning to get a bit scary to be honest, but none of it means that I need Dylan bloody Watts falling over himself to tell me that he'll be there for me and that he'll make sure that I'm okay, prat.

-OG-

It's a bleeding long flight so we got a short stopover in Dubai. I had wondered if they'd let us get off to go shopping, but fat chance, and in fact, it was the worst bit of the journey cos I'd lost track of the time, oh I knew it was early hours but I was bloody wrecked and kept on dropping off then jolting awake so it was good when we got going again, especially as I'd managed to sit bloody miles away from arsehole Watts cos no bugger would swop with him, I really love my work mates sometimes. I could hear me Nan laughing at me when I went and got all sorted, you know, did me face 'n that before we landed, but you never know, do you, they might of met us at the airport. They didn't of course, what the hell was I thinking and anyhow even if they had, there was no reason for me to think that he was suddenly gonna be over the moon to see me, was there?

The Intercontinental is okay, well it's much the same as any other hotel I've stayed in for work, but outside in the street it's dusty and hot and bloody crowded, loads of people most of them men dressed in long robe things and lots of Afghan army milling about, at least I think that's who they are, men in dark green combats with guns anyhow. Any women that are around are covered up from head to toe so that they don't look any different to the women you see in Newham, or the Kings Road for that matter. But it is different. It smells different for starters and it sounds different, well, there isn't much traffic noise, apart from the occasional horns, instead there's a hell of a lot of shouting. I dunno what they're shouting about of course, haven't got a bloody clue, but it's loud and there's a lot of it.

We still haven't seen any soldiers, I thought they might of come to the hotel to catch up with us, but they never, and now we're off to Shorabak to the Afghan base to do some 'live' stuff and then tomorrow we're shadowing our lot as they 'support the Afghans' out on patrol which is apparently the whole point of all this, so we'll be doing our first 'live' with them at 1.30 local time. They're coming here later for yet another briefing, most likely another long list of 'don't do this' and 'don't do that'. The thing is though, it doesn't look or feel anything like Christmas, well, I s'pose they don't have Christmas here do they?

-OG-

I don't know whether he's still a bit mad at me or not, well, I'm hoping not, cos although he never spoke a single word to me he did sort of forget himself and grin when he came into that meeting room and saw me. He actually looked pleased to see me for a bit and then obviously remembered that we're not friends anymore and wiped the smile off of his face. I wish I knew why we seemed to of fallen out, I'd really like us to be friends again.

Driving around in a Land Rover with armed soldiers all round us, some of them Brits but a hell of a lot Afghans, was really stressful, actually it was more than a bit scarey. We was all wearing flak jackets with PRESS written on them in great big white letters, I do hope the Taliban can read English, and helmets which are horrible and heavy and make your head sweat so that your hair goes all frizzy and it was dusty and bloody uncomfortable. I were only glad that I don't suffer from travel sickness because we was being thrown about all over the place, the roads here are shittin' terrible, full of pot-holes and lumpy bits so that I couldn't help keep thinking about what we've been told about IEDs, which made me nervous cos that's not exactly today's comforting thought, is it?

Charles weren't in the same Land Rover as me, he was way out in front of us and bloody Dylan was there with him, wouldn't you know it? I just hope he keeps his stupid gob shut. I had a real run-in with him before we even got going this morning, lucky we were still in the hotel so none of the soldiers heard us, but he went on and on about how unlucky I was that I weren't going to be in the same Land Rover as him. I sort of lost it a bit, well I were a bit disappointed at the time, and yelled that even if he went off and had a face and personality transplant, it was never going to happen again, not even if we were the last two people on earth, and that was even if he grew about a foot. I did feel a bit bad about the last bit cos that's not his fault is it? He pulled a face and said that what he'd meant was that I'd rather be travelling with Charles, so that I had to say 'Don't be so bloody ridiculous, why the fuck would I wanna do that?' and then realised that Charles must of heard me, cos he was standing near the door with his arms crossed and his hands tucked into his pits, he gave me this _look,_ like his feelings was all hurt. Shit.

Once we got going I didn't have any time to worry about anyone's feelings being hurt or sorting out bloody Dylan once 'n for all, I was just too busy making sure that everything was spot on cos it needed to be instant, on time and organised, sorted with no hitches, no delays, no time for fluffing reports or re-running, no time for 'talent' tantrums or getting make-up fixed. Most of all making bloody sure that no-one was doing anything _untoward_ , as it's known, in camera shot, you know, scratching their crotch or some'ing. It all seemed to go off okay, well there weren't any major cock-ups, so, so far, so good. The crew on edit back home sent me a double thumbs up when they got all the feed through so that was okay, a big sigh of relief all round, and now we've just Christmas and New Year to get through and we'll be on the home stretch, so we'll be able to breathe out properly.

I kept coming across Charles all day, well every time we stopped, cos Jenny on camera 2 was following him about which I can well understand, I mean, he is the boss and he's pretty photogenic as well but judging from the way she kept batting her bloody eyelashes at him every time she looked up, I think it's more that she fancies him, but it did mean that I had to keep on talking to him as well. Then I had to try not to look for excuses to hang around him in between, cos there's too much could go tits up for me to risk getting, dunno, side tracked. The annoying thing is he seemed to manage to get over his hurt feelings and go back to ignoring me without making any sort of effort at all.

I never went down to the bar with the others after dinner, I was totally wiped out and had some prep to do and I didn't know who was going to be there, not Charles anyway. The soldiers all pissed off before dinner cos they don't eat with us, so I presumed that they wouldn't be back and there was no way I was going to spend a whole evening listening to bloody Dylan Watts being a cocky little shit, or even worse having to talk to him, thanks but no thanks.

-OG-

It was a bloody shit way to spend Christmas Eve, didn't feel like Christmas at all with no decorations anywhere, not even in the hotel, although Angie said that one of the waiters told her that there would be some sort of Christmas trees going up tonight in time for tomorrow so that's something to look forward to I s'pose. Funny to look back at last Christmas Eve, getting pissed at the Five office party and then going on to Sara's and having a laugh. It were just after I'd met Charles and I was still hoping that he would call me, well it were before I gave up anyhow.

Fuck, wouldn't you know it, seems he did come back to the hotel last night and has just told me that he'd missed seeing me but he was told I was tired and had gone to bed early so he didn't give me a shout, I didn't ask him but there'd be no bloody prizes for guessing who told him that, would there? I did me level best to wangle a place in his transport today, but the gods have got it in for me again and they've just gone off….. without me, of course … so I'm in the chasing pack again. I'm finding it so difficult to forget that hour we spent in my kitchen drinking tea, and even harder still to forget all that stuff about him having a wife. I'd love to know whether he's still got one, or whether he was telling the truth about getting divorced, but I'm not sure how to ask, I mean it's a bit tricky innit? Maybe I can casually drop it into the conversation somehow? Or not ….

-OG-

"Hey, can I get you a drink?"

"Thanks, I'd love a Vodka and Coke … but we're not allowed, so a Coke without the Vodka would be nice" He sort of laughed as though I'd made a really funny joke, which I hadn't "Don't feel very Christmassy, does it? Still I s'pose I shouldn't expect it to really, not here"

I'd been first to get to the bar, I didn't want to make the same mistake again, but he was already there watching them put up these tacky white paper trees, really horrible like some'ing you'd buy in the bloody market at home, not Christmassy at all, but I s'pose it was better than nothing.

"No, I suppose not, so, what would you be doing right now if you were back at home?"

"Not sure, most likely getting over the office party so as to help Sara get her Christmas Eve thing going, she has a party every year"

"And does she always invite a spare man for you?"

"Oi, you cheeky whatsit, no she bloody well doesn't, and what are you saying here, that I can't find me own spare bloke?"

"No of course not" He was laughing "Sorry"

"Bloody think so, anyhow most of the blokes she asks are the horror comics that she feels sorry for"

"Thanks"

"Not you, you know I weren't talking about you, mind you, what is it they say? If the cap fits ….." I started to giggle at the look on his face, his eyebrows went up and he was pretending to be all insulted and upset "You was never invited for me anyhow, Gary just thought you were a bit fed up of Headley, and I never even knew you were gonna be there. I was having a bit of a fight with Sara about her doing it, so if I'd known they'd asked a spare bloke again, I most likely wouldn't of come"

"Well, good job you didn't know then because that would have been a real shame" He shrugged and smiled at me, one of his best Santa Claus smiles, the sort that makes me go all fluttery "I didn't know you were going to be there either, so it was a lucky co-incidence wasn't it?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, Chapter 5 tomorrow.**_


	5. Chapter 5

He was flirting, I knew he was flirting with me, at least, Oh God, I really hoped that I wasn't imagining it … and then, before I could say anything else like 'are you still married by the way? Or 'how's your wife?' although I'd try and be a bit more subtle than that, of course, we was interrupted, but I do need to know, it's bloody well killing me, the not knowing. Great timing, I was just getting there, well nearly, when the rest of them showed up and Dylan bloody Watts made his bee-line for me, well he would, wouldn't he? He was doing his absolute level best to get in between us, Charles and me, and short of kneeing him in the crotch I couldn't see how to stop him. Actually, kneeing him seemed a pretty good idea for all sorts of reasons, either that or pretending that I suffer from muscle spasms and kicking his groin, but instead I just had to pretend that the round green hairy thing wasn't there and ignore him hoping he'd take a hint and disappear, so that I could carry on with my mission to find out if Charles' has still got a wife. I really should of known, you'd need a bloody sledgehammer and a loud hailer to get through to Dylan, he don't take hints.

"What about you, what would you be doing if you was at home?"

You can't say I didn't try, that I didn't do me best, but him being a bloody gentleman meant that Charles was too polite, he immediately included every other bugger in our conversation until it turned into a sort of general discussion about Christmas at home and who did what, and everyone's different traditions and favourite things, so that our one to one looked like it was over. Shit, and he'd never answered the question so he didn't tell me what he got up to, in fact he never told any of us anything about his Christmas at home or about his wife, so my chance to drop her into the conversation had gone away.

Eventually, and hard as I tried to ignore it, I had to go for a wee cos all the bloody Coke I'd been drinking meant I'd been needing to go for ages and then I couldn't put it off any longer even though I knew that as sure as eggs is eggs as soon as I left bloody Jenny would be in there and up on me stool like a rat up a drainpipe, but it was either that or wet knickers, so I had no choice.

When I got back, and I was as quick as I bloody well could be, believe me, he was saying goodnight and Merry Christmas to everyone but he said nothing to me, just gave me this …. _look …. a_ nd then nodded. Jen said she didn't know what the fuck had gone on, why he'd suddenly decided to up and leave, he hadn't said but he'd been having a chat with Dylan and had suddenly stood up and said as how it was getting late and time for him to go.

-OG-

"I don't know what he told you, I don't think I want to know, but it's not what you think, there's nothing …... nothing at all between him and me"

"Why are you telling me?" He shrugged as he walked away backwards looking at me as he went, and there was this expression on his face that was really hard to read "It's none of my business, is it? Go back in, Molly, it's not safe for you to be out here on your own"

I knew that what I'd said wasn't completely true, there had been some'ing between us, well, that had been before …. and it's just that I can't get Dylan to see things the way they are now. It's not like I've never told him, I spelt it out before we came here but he just don't wanna listen, little shit that he is, and what the fuck has he been saying?

On top of that, what made me run out the hotel after Charles and why was I making a tit of myself like this following him and saying stuff? God, he's gonna complain that I'm harassing him soon, and he'd have a bloody point wouldn't he?

Even after he'd told me to go back in and then pissed off, I'd wanted to run after him, to grab him by the arm, to turn him round and make him listen to me which is bloody ridiculous cos even if I did that, then what? Alright, I admit it, the minute I saw him again I knew I still felt the same way, and I maybe shouldn't have come on this gig, not feeling like this. But what was I doing running after him like this? The way I feel is no different to how Jenny or Angie or any of the rest of them feel and I don't see them doing stuff like this, do I? Knowing him before we come here doesn't count, this feeling of 'Get off, he's mine, I saw him first' reminds me of being back at school and we're not there now, are we? I'm making a complete bloody muppet of myself.

-OG-

If I'd thought Christmas Eve was shit, and it was, Christmas Day was actually alright, well, more than alright really. The hotel staff had done their best to decorate so that as well as those naff paper trees there were bits of greenery all over, god knows what it was but they'd obviously made an effort, and there were candles and lights so that the breakfast tables looked really Christmassy. T looked so nice that I nearly forgave them for not having coco-pops or any other chocolate cereals on the menu.

Christmas Day meant there were no patrols so the ANA were out there on their own, there's no 'live' feed from the streets which means no helmets, so thank fuck for that. We was doing the 'live' from the Operating Base to show them all wearing their Santa hats and eating turkey and pulling crackers 'n that so that their families back home would be able to see them, see that they're okay, and would be bound to tune in and tell their friends and families as well, so 'High Five for Ratings'. We made sure that we got a shot of every single one of them, and a lot of them got to say something, so bearing in mind that there are twenty six of them, not counting Charles, it took a fair bit of organising. I sent a couple of texts back to the office begging them not to edit anyone out, even if someone at their end wants an edit for so-called artistic reasons, or as we call it, arty farty crap. I know it's not my decision, or even theirs at the end of the day, but I wanted the edit team to know how much it meant and that the lads was all furiously texting home to get their nearest and dearest to watch, so it would be bleeding awful if someone was cut.

Jenny took loads of footage of 'guess who' as he was serving up the dinners with the biggest grin on his face and then they all did some singing, carols and Christmas songs 'n that and everyone joined in, together with the crew, well, not me of course, I mimed cos I can't sing, can I? but he can so that I realised that when he'd told me he liked singing, you know, when we was in that Chinese, he's really good. Jen took masses of footage of that as well, now there's a surprise, and I wouldn't mind betting that bits of it will find itself in today's broadcast, so it looks like he's gonna get his gig on Five after all. I wish I could go and tell him, remind him then take the piss a little bit like I did that night, but I can't cos he's still being bloody off with me, never mind that it's Christmas.

-OG-

Dinner was well nice even if Marc did get all 'Big Director' so that he warned us not to think we could have a drink or three, just because of it being Christmas, so we had to do a bit of negotiating with him, well, some major tantrum throwing and threats to his personal safety meant he compromised at one glass of wine each but that was it, no excuses for drinking any more, we couldn't budge the miserable bugger. The food was lovely, the nicest food we've had since we've been here and the restaurant was full up with lots of people we haven't seen here before, so that the staff pushed tables together for us which made it seem like we was having a bit of a party, which was fun.

Knowing there was no way that Charles was gonna show, he'd made this big point of saying he'd see everyone tomorrow and how he hoped we'd all have a lovely day, meant that I could relax and enjoy myself, I could have a bit of a laugh cos I could stop keeping one eye on the entrance all the bloody time. Marc turned back into miserable bugger mode after we'd finished eating when he reminded us all that we were going out 'live' again tomorrow and that it needed prep as usual. It were probably just as well that no-one, meaning me, was too pissed to do it properly cos I think he must be missing his wife and kid the mood he's in. It must be hard for them that've got someone special at home, well, someone special full stop, and I really need to get me shit together and stop turning everything into wondering about Charles, cos now I'm sitting wondering about who he's missing, if anyone.

-OG-

Christmas Day and I'm all on me own sitting in a hotel room staring at a PC, and trying hard to concentrate on work when it's all making me feel like bleeding Cinderella, I can't believe that I wanted to come here, that I wanted to do this, I must have been nuts. I've logged on and read my 'Happy Christmas' e-mails from Mum and the kids and Nan, and I've answered them and then read the very long and very rude one from Sara, she was obviously well plastered when she sent it, which made me feel even more like Cinderella. I hadn't thought I would, but I really miss everyone and I wish more than anything that I was back home.

Being bored shitless meant that after a bit I gave up trying to put in schedules and timings 'n that cos I kept on making mistakes and having to start over, so I'll do it later …. much later, sod it, it's Christmas. Christmas without pressies, without kisses or hugs from anyone, no booze at all, well one small glass, so no booze, and no tin of Quality Street to trough your way through till you feel sick, none of the stuff that makes Christmas, and I am never, ever doing this again.

Instead of going back to the work stuff I started to make a list of New Year's Resolutions, which usually I have about as much chance of keeping as I do of getting a degree in brain surgery, but this year it's going to be different cos this year is the first time I've ever made a list when I'm sober, or not hung over so that me list is not all about never, ever again, and how I'm going bloody tee total 'n that, so this one is one I'm gonna stick to.

Now I've started, I can't actually think of anything to put on it, it's a hell of a lot easier when you're pissed out your nut on New Year's, so I'll start with the bleeding obvious.

1\. Don't tell myself I might be able to fancy some bloke who makes my skin crawl, so none of Sara's no-hopers.

2\. Don't hop into bed with anyone I work with and then try and tell myself that I fancy _him_ when I don't.

3\. Don't show off and tell lies when I've had a couple and have got an audience.

4\. Don't spend all me time thinking about a bloke who's way out of reach …. one who's most likely still married.

I think I'm gonna see about joining one of them dating web sites, I mean, I know they cost a packet, but sod the cost it'll be worth it to meet some different people, blokes I mean, or maybe I'll join a gym or some'ing, not to exercise or anything stupid like that, but it really is time I found myself a decent bloke and everyone knows it's a good place to start, don't they? Okay, I might not find one who looks like Charles, but maybe I can find one who doesn't play silly buggers, I'm gonna add that to me list, don't spend your time thinking about someone who can't decide whether he likes you or not.

It's not his fault, I know that really, but I've got seriously pissed off of the way that one minute he looks at me like he remembers us having a laugh and holding hands and then bickering over whether I was going to pay my half the bill which he wouldn't hear of, he won, and the next minute he's looking at me like I'm his worst bleeding nightmare. I really don't get what's going on with him. If its cos of Dylan and whatever it is he's been saying, it would mean that Charles cares, you know, is jealous or some'ing and I'm bloody sure that that's not true, so dunno ….

Waste of bloody time making a resolution, weren't it? Less than ten minutes 'n I've broken it already, I've just realised that I'm sat here doing it all over again, I'm sat here on me own on Christmas Day thinking about this bloke that's out of my reach ….. again.

If I thought that thinking of resolutions when you're sober is hard, it's nothing like as hard as writing a 'profile' for one of them web sites. I dunno what to say, do I? I think I might be better off leaving it till I've had a couple of drinks or maybe I'll get Sara to help me, well, what I mean is I'll get her to write it for me. I mean what the fuck do you say on these things? I was gonna cheat and see what other girls have said, and then maybe copy the best bits, but it seems I can't do that unless I pay the fees and join first. I'm scared that the truth will either make me look well boring or will just frighten them off, so I'll need to lie a bit, but the last time I told a pack of lies to some bloke he saw straight through me, and here I go again, thinking about him.

-OG-

It was almost pitch dark when I woke up, I couldn't think where I was for a minute or what I was doing on me bed wearing all me clothes, and then, when I tried to put the light on and nothing happened I realised that we must of had some sort of power cut cos me PC has died as well. I tried calling down to the desk, but no bugger's answering and there's a hell of a bloody racket going on out in the street under the window, lots of shouting and horns and I could swear I heard shots and can smell burning. Then I realised, God what was I trying to do here, scare meself to death? It's bloody fireworks, innit? I was on me way to look out the window to see if I could see what was going on out there when I had this sort of flashback to that health and safety crap, with people saying over and over never go near the windows or doors when you're not sure what's happening.

Shit, this was beginning to get worrying, I mean, what the fuck? I still sort of think it's fireworks and that I'm being stupid, but, up here in the dark, on me own, without a clue what's going on isn't exactly my idea of a happy Christmas. It definitely smells like some'ing's burning, and I'm a bit scared it could be the whole bloody hotel and I'm stuck here on the 2nd floor without a Scooby where the fire exits are. I haven't heard a fire alarm, but who knows if they've even got one and I never read the emergency stuff on the back of the door, I mean who the fuck reads that stuff anyway?

I'm not sure whether I should open the door and see if I can see smoke or hear anything, well apart from the bleeding racket outside, so I went and sat on the floor against the wall. Don't bloody ask me what difference that's gonna make when I start to burn to death, I haven't got a clue, but it just feels safer while I'm trying to work out what's best to do next. I need a plan, but it's hard to think straight when all you can hear are these people chanting as well as smelling some'ing burning. I don't exactly know what they're chanting but it don't sound like a friendly 'Welcome to Kabul' sort of chant to me.

"Molly, come on open this door, let me in"

He was bashing on the door as if he thought I was deaf or some'ing, but oh God, I can't begin to tell you how happy I was to hear his voice, well okay, he sounded a bit irritated or annoyed or some'ing, but I didn't care, I didn't give a shit how cross he was with me, or why, I have just never been so happy to hear anyone in the whole of my life.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: A long chat to clear the air is just what they need ….**_


	6. Chapter 6

I'd been sitting there for quite a long time, well it felt like hours cos me bum had gone to sleep from sitting on the floor and I was a bit thirsty and I still had no plan, but the chanting had been going on and on without a break and if I'd got up the guts to get up from where I was sitting and go and get some'ing I'd have to go past the window and to be honest I was too shit scared to do that, so I'd just sat there waiting for … well, fuck knows really, just waiting.

"Ow, ow, ouch, bloody hell, ouch"

"Just hurry up and open this door will you, come on"

"God, I'm coming as fast as I can ….. ow, ow, ouch" Jesus, he sounds like he's really losing it out there, Oh God, please don't tell me the Taliban are right behind him, following him, that they're just out there waiting to shoot us or some'ing.

"What's the matter, what's happened, are you hurt?"

He almost wrenched the door off its hinges when I unlocked it, I was still hopping about from the bloody agony of stubbing me toe on the corner of the bed in the dark.

"I've stubbed me toe, Oh God it hurts"

"Oh for fuck sake" He snorted this sort of impatient laugh down his nose, even though he didn't actually sound as if he thought anything was even the tiniest bit funny.

"What's going on, is it the Taliban?"

"No, no it's not the Taliban or ISIS or any of them, would I be standing here like this if it was? It's some sort of anti-western demonstration by students from the University, well we're not actually sure who they are exactly, anyway the ANA have got the place covered so don't panic, you're quite safe"

"I'm not panicking" Well, not much anyway "Shouldn't you be out there with them then, doing whatever it is they're doing?"

I didn't like his tone of voice very much, he sounded like he thought I was being a bit girly or a coward or some'ing and I thought I'd been incredibly brave, but actually, what the hell was I suggesting that he went out there to help them? If he was out there with them he couldn't be in here rescuing me, could he?

"Nope, we're non-combat remember? We're not allowed to get involved, we're only here to advise"

"How did you know I was up here?"

"Well, I went to check on you all, to see that everyone was okay and I found them all having a drink in the café at the back of here and no fucking sign of you. When I asked them where you were they didn't seem to have a clue that someone should have made sure that you were okay, not left you up here on your own, so I've come to check. So, anyway, if you're sure you're okay, and I can see that you are, I'll leave you to it"

"Don't you bleeding dare" I grabbed hold of his arm cos I don't remember having any discussion with him about whether I was okay or not and the one thing I was totally sure about was that I didn't want to go back to sitting against that bloody wall on my own waiting for them lot out there to give over or for someone to start shooting people or setting fire to some'ing "Are you sure the hotel's not on fire, Charles, cos I'm bloody sure I can smell burning, can't you smell it?"

"I am 100% sure that the hotel is not on fire, alright?" He put his arm round my shoulders and gave me a bit of a hug, I think he'd maybe just worked out that I was a little bit scared, to put it mildly "They're carrying some sort of effigy things hanging on sticks that they're setting fire to, I could be wrong, but I think they're supposed to be Obama, anyway, what on earth made you think I'd leave you up here on your own if this place was on fire?"

"Sorry"

"I should think so, is your toe alright now?"

"What?" For some reason I'd forgotten all about breaking me bloody toe on the bed "Yeah, sorry about that, probably just me making a fuss about nothing" God, and there's nothing like being a brave little martyr is there, me foot would most likely be purple 'n black and blue by the morning, so that I'd be hobbling or maybe even needing crutches and getting loads of sympathy from everyone, or not, knowing that lot they probably wouldn't even notice. "How did everyone else get out?"

"The hotel staff took them out the back through the kitchens when this lot started kicking off at the front, so why on earth didn't you go downstairs when it first started, you should have got yourself out of here and joined the rest before the power went off?"

"I was up here working and I didn't know the power was gonna go off did I? Didn't know what was happening, and you told us not to go near the windows 'n doors if there was some'ing going on, so I never" There I went again being economical with the bleeding truth, but I didn't want to tell him that I'd been up here dicking about with joining some dating website and had then been flat out asleep like some old dear after me Christmas dinner, did I? "I got a bit scared cos I thought the hotel was on fire, so I sat on the floor 'n waited for the fire brigade to get here"

"I'm shocked, I really didn't think you'd listened to a single word" He seemed to be laughing at me for some reason, but I was having a lot of trouble seeing the funny side of any of this "I think you might have had a very long wait for the fire brigade though, because I'm not sure they've got one, well not the sort we're used to anyway"

"What we going to do now?"

"Well, we can wait out for a bit and see if they can get the power back on and then we can make our way downstairs and join the rest, or, if you don't want to wait here we can have a go at making our way down in the dark, up to you"

"Wait for the lights"

"Right"

"Charles can I ask you some'ing?"

"Of course, I can't promise to know the right answer, but I'll try"

"What? ….. Nah, I don't mean that sort of question, I wanna know why you said you was hoping and praying that it weren't me coming here? You know, before, I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want, but I thought we was friends"

"I told you at that meeting, it's bloody dangerous out here, well, you can see that for yourself now, can't you? This could easily have been the Taliban or Islamic State and they wouldn't have been demonstrating, they'd have been shooting Westerners or trying to blow the hotel up, and I didn't want you to get hurt"

"I didn't want me to get hurt either"

I tried to laugh and failed as I went and sat back down on the floor against the wall. I did think of sitting meself on the bed up against the headboard, but to be honest it felt a bit awkward almost as if I'd be inviting him to join me in bed, nice idea but shit timing. He came and sat on the floor next to me, I sort of knew he'd do that, and then we sat there in complete silence, not even looking at each other cos both of us was waiting to see if the other one had something to say first. There was so many things that I wanted to ask him that I didn't know where to start and I was a bit afraid that I'd get a 'what's that got to do with you?' or some'ing. As it was he started to rub the back of his neck then spoke.

"Molly, tell me about Dylan"

Oh, shit, must I?

"I've already told you, there's nothing to tell" He nudged me with his shoulder so that I would look at him and even in the dark I could see that his eyebrows were raised up his forehead showing that he didn't believe me, and I s'pose I can't really blame him "Look, okay, there was something a while back, but it were something and nothing and we're history now, we have been for bleeding ages and it were nothing important in the first place, I were just being stupid when I got involved with him. I knew it was a mistake and I've kept on telling him, kept on trying to get him to leave me alone, well, to sod off really, but he won't bloody well listen, will he? He keeps thinking I'm gonna change me mind and fall into his arms or some'ing, and its Not Gonna Happen."

I don't know whether he believed me or not, I couldn't tell from the expression on his face, well as much as I could see his face in the dark. God he's really good at poker faces, and I didn't want to ask cos if I'd said 'do you believe me?' it was gonna sound as if I might be lying when I'm not and he already knows that I can sometimes tell the odd porky, so … .

"So you did sleep with him?"

He turned and looked at me and if I didn't know better I'd think he were jealous. I wanted to, I dunno, yell at him to not look at me like that as if he were disappointed or some'ing cos it were his fault, I mean if he'd rung I wouldn't have given bloody Dylan Watts a second look, would I?

"Why didn't you ever ring me, you know, after that night? I thought you would, that we'd be friends"

"Why didn't you come and see me at Headley, or was that because of Dylan?"

"Nah, course not, it wasn't anything to do with him, I never even knew him then and I didn't know that you expected me to come and see you"

"I didn't expect you exactly, but I hoped"

"Sorry, if I'd known I'd of come, course I would, but you still haven't said why you didn't ring me"

This conversation was going round in circles a bit as I was trying to be very, very careful what I said, and I don't know if he was doing the same but really, I just wanted to shout, 'what happened with your fucking wife, is she still your wife? Was that why you didn't ring me? If you'd rung I'd never of looked at him in the first place' 

"It's complicated"

"What is?"

"I don't get emotionally involved, Molly" He wiped his hand over his face almost like he was sweating, which he wasn't or that he was wiping some expression off of his gob.

"Is that to do with your wife?"

"No, I'm not talking about my wife, well ex-wife, we're divorced now, but she's not the main reason" I could feel him shaking his head.

"Well, what is then?"

"It's important to keep everything under control, to keep some distance so that you can stay professional and you can never be professional if you let emotions get in the way, well you know that as well as I do"

"Yeah, but I've got nothing to do with your job"

"Well, right now you are my job" He nudged me again "Look, it's nothing personal, Molly, it's just important that I stay focussed so that I can do the very best job I can"

"But that's work, innit? You're talking about work and you're right about that, of course you are, but for _everything_ in your life, is that what you're telling me? That we couldn't be friends cos you don't do anything emotional? That's total bollocks and you know it"

"Look, I tried it once didn't I? I let myself get emotionally involved, and look how well that ended up" he gave this little sort of snort, a bit like a laugh but not a laugh, down his nose "It ended up with the two of us doing our absolute best to hurt each other, to tear strips off one another and then fight tooth and nail over Sam" He looked at me and shrugged "It's a lot less" He paused obviously looking for the right word "painful if you don't let it happen, if you stop when you find you're in danger of letting your emotions get involved"

"So it is to do with your wife, sorry ex-wife?" He just turned his head and looked at me but never said anything.

"Who's Sam" I knew who Sam was before he answered, I knew that he wasn't a cat or a dog or a bloody goldfish or nothing, but it was still a bit of a shock to hear him spell it out.

"Sam is my son, he's nearly eight" His voice softened so much that I knew he was smiling "His mother and I might be divorced now but he's always going to be a big part of my life"

"Course he is"

I mean, what else was there to say? Kids do need their dad, well I should know that if anyone does, my dad was never around not even when I was very little and definitely not when I was growing up. Not that my parents are divorced or nothing like that, nah, one thing about my mum and dad is that they was always well and truly together judging by the number of times my mum got up the spout. Nah, it were just that me dad weren't interested once we was born, he'd much rather spend his time and money in the pub.

"You know something, Charles? that sounded like emotion to me"

"Well, that's different isn't it?"

It went a bit quiet, well apart from the nutters outside in the street, and it seemed like he'd just told me that he didn't have any feelings for me, or that he'd deliberately put a stop to any he thought he might have, but even though he'd spelt it out, well, he couldn't have made it any plainer if he'd tried, I wasn't sure it was true. I dunno, maybe it's clutching at straws, but if it's true, what was he doing sitting here leaning up against a wall next to me? If it's true he wouldn't of said about waiting out together, he'd of said that we'd gotta go now, straight away, wouldn't he?

"You know Molly, it's not my fault that you got involved with him, that you picked him" Shit, looks like we're talking about bloody Dylan again, how did that happen? "It was nothing to do with me that you decided to go out with him"

"I know it weren't, I never said it was your fault, did I? I'm not blaming you, I was the one who agreed to go out with him, but it was …well ….. it was ….. Oh, I dunno, let's just leave it, shall we?"

"What was it?"

"Nothing, it really don't matter"

"For fuck sake, just tell me"

"You know what I hate most about all this, Charles, I kept all this stuff to meself, I never told anyone, not even Sara and definitely not him, Dylan, I mean, even when I was trying me hardest to persuade meself that he might be the man of me dreams, which was never going to happen in a million years. One of the things was that when I wasn't with him, I was thinking about YOU, and even when I was with him, and I don't mean in bed or nothing, just when we went out to the pub or whatever, I couldn't stop thinking about YOU, wondering about YOU, how YOU were, what YOU was doing, so I was trying to … okay, you're right that me going out with him had nothing to do with you, but it sort of had in a way and then, _then_ , when you bloody come back into my life you act like you're jealous of him but say that you haven't got any feelings for me at all" God, I suddenly realised that once again my bloody mouth was running away with me and I'd said way, way too much and some of it didn't even make sense, well only to me.

"I didn't say that, I didn't say anything like that"

"Yeah, you did, that's exactly what you said" I took a deep breath, I bloody needed to get some control of my mouth here "I'm sorry, look, we've been out once and you told me all about you having a wife 'n that, so none of this shit was your fault, was it? And I've just said far, far too much again, haven't I? Me and my bloody mouth"

I was beginning to get upset and I really didn't wanna cry cos when I cry it's not one of them dainty jobs, you know, tears rolling slowly down me gob all fragile and girly and needing comfort, it's full blown waterworks, tears, snot and gulpy noises, the whole bloody thing "I do need to know what is it you want, though, if you don't wanna be friends then what the fuck are you doing here? With me I mean, here in this room, right now, is it just work and please don't give me any bullshit, just tell me the truth"

He got to his feet and put his hand down to help me get up "Come on, I think we should go now, you're right I shouldn't have stayed like this"

"Then why did you? Tell me, I really do want to know" I could feel the tears starting to leak from the my eyes so I was bloody glad it was still almost pitch dark, I didn't want him to see me cry over him, that really would be the icing on the bloody cake "Oh shit, Charles, you don't need to answer any of this, just ignore me, and let's go"

"Because, Molly" He was looking down at his feet as he tugged at the curls on the back of his neck then lifted his eyes and looked at me, ignoring what I'd just said about going "Because you make it fucking impossible for me to want to be anywhere else but with you"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Lost the crown off one of my front teeth when I was eating toast this morning so have just spent an hour losing the will to live waiting for my lovely, lovely dentist to stick it back on for me, just glad it didn't happen over Christmas because that would have been very attractive … not! Who said that cosmetic dentistry was the answer to fillings?**_


	7. Chapter 7

He put his hands round my face, well, he almost grabbed it actually …. then he kissed me and when he kissed me, he kissed me really, really hard as if he really meant it. It was the kiss that I've been waiting for, it was the one we should of shared months ago in my kitchen, and all them doubts, everything I'd thought about him, …. well, it all just sort of went away. Okay, it was a seriously good kiss, and okay, I didn't know what it meant exactly, but I did know that he wasn't just looking out for me, that this wasn't just work and I was also pretty bloody sure that he never meant all that shit about not getting emotionally involved, cos he's either a bleeding good actor or it was just that, shit.

"Don't cry, I didn't mean to make you cry that's the last thing I want to do, I'm sorry"

He moved his thumbs from where his hands were still holding onto me face, and wiped away the tears that were dripping out from the corners of me eyes, his eyes were fixed on mine as he smiled that smile of his, the one that makes me tummy disappear then bent his head and kissed me again, but much more gently this time "I just want to make you happy, that's all I want to do"

"You just did and I'm not crying cos you kissed me, I was trying not to cry cos I didn't think you were going to, I didn't think you wanted to" Shit, the very last thing I wanted is for him to think that I don't want him to kiss me like that again. It had felt like the most important kiss I've ever had.

"I've been wanting to kiss you like that ever since the first time I saw you, this totally gorgeous girl with a beautiful smile who made everyone laugh with her blatant story-telling, well, she was making me laugh anyway. I'm not that sure about Yvonne with her opera and whatever her husband was called, I don't know how amused they were"

"It's one of me New Year's Resolutions, to stop all the telling lies to make people laugh, it's what me Nan used to call showing off really"

"Oh no don't do that, you're very good at it, well I enjoyed it anyway"

The whole time we'd been talking he'd been smoothing me hair back from me face and dropping these little gentle kisses onto me eyelids and then on the corners of me lips so that I was getting more and more desperate to just walk the few feet to the bed that was sitting there behind me. As far as I was concerned we could do this just as well horizontal, well a hell of a lot better in fact, and God, it'd been a really long wait.

"Charles, what's going to happen now?"

I had this wonderful picture of him scooping me up and putting me on the bed, then him taking his stuff off so that I could finally get to see him without his shirt or anything else for that matter, and he could maybe even get to take my kit off and I didn't give a monkey's what knickers I'd put on today, it was still pitch dark in the room anyhow.

"I'm going to have to go down in a minute, or we are, because it won't be long before someone starts thinking I've been abducted or something and comes up here to take a look and I need to check that everything's under control down there, I'm supposed to be in charge"

"Oh"

"You know that they're going to send you all home now don't you? Probably tomorrow if they can get you on a flight, or as soon as bloody possible anyway, because no-one's going to want to risk your safety are they? Not now this has happened" He was still stroking my hair as I tried to smile at him and pretend that I wasn't gutted and that the disappointment wasn't almost as bad as it had been that evening in my kitchen.

"I don't want to go home"

"I know you don't and I'll miss you like hell, but I want you to go home. I'll be a hell of a lot happier when you're safely tucked up in that flat with all your different coloured walls and Christmas lights all over the place"

"They're not Christmas lights, they're fairy lights and I couldn't make up me mind what colour to paint, so I used lots of different ones. I like it, it's different"

I was impressed with how 'normal' my voice sounded but I hadn't wanted to see my flat for a lot, lot longer than this. I wanted to stay here and see him every day, even if it's not going to be possible to do what I want or for us to be together because of it being awkward to get away from everyone else. I have a feeling that people, well Jen and Angie for starters, might very well guess, and bloody Dylan of course, but no-one gives a flying fuck about him or what he thinks. I'm really not sure what me bosses would say either, I don't know whether there's rules about this or not cos it hasn't ever been some'ing that's worried me before, but they'll probably say that I'm being very unprofessional or a bleeding disgrace or some'ing. I don't even know if he's allowed, but I still don't want to go home and not see him, even if we have to be a secret.

"I like it as well, I didn't say I didn't, I think it's lovely, it's just different, like you" He got one of my hands and entwined his fingers through mine, like he'd done that time in the Chinese "Come on, stop looking like that, I'll call and I'll text you as often as I can and I'll come and see you as soon as I get back and we'll sort everything out and I'll take you out for sushi"

"I never told you that I eat raw fish, did I? You made that up"

"Of course I made it up, you should have seen your face" He put his head back and roared with laughter then rested his forehead against mine "You're not the only one who can wind people up you know, I'll tell you what though if you don't want to go out for raw fish, you can do us some toast instead"

"I can do baked beans as well now"

"Those cookery classes weren't a complete waste of time then?"

"Don't be mean, and you'd better ring me, same as you'd better be bloody careful, please don't get yourself shot or nothing, will you?"

"Of course not, I'll be really careful and you be careful too, no more bloody Dylan Watts"

"Who?"

-OG-

The lights came on when we was half way down the stairs and he stopped and kissed me, he said that we didn't want to wait till we had an audience, or rather he didn't. We just stood there on the stairs and cos I was on a higher step I could look into his eyes and kiss him without him having to bend his head right down and me having to stand on tiptoes. He says he's gonna buy one of them little step stool ladders for when we're at home, although he hasn't said whose home he's talking about. I bloody hope that it's mine cos I hate to tell him this, but I don't fancy living in barracks anywhere, I imagine that they're all like Catterick, so he can forget that. God, here I go again, nobody said anything about anyone living with anyone, did they? Bit previous there, Moll …..

Anyhow he was obviously doing his best to wind me up again, or at least I think that's what it was. We had this huge hug and I didn't want to let him go, I just wanted to stay on those stairs hugging him forever and I knew without him saying anything at all that he was feeling exactly the same way that I was. I just hope that he keeps his promise and rings or texts me, cos if we have another big silence like we had before I'm not sure I'll be able to cope, mind he never promised to call last time, so …. .

He were right about us being sent home, not that any of the rest of the buggers seemed to be the slightest bit upset about it, seemed like it were just me that didn't want to go. Our flight leaves in a couple of hours so we're sitting around at Kabul airport watching all the armed security people patrolling, I think they're ANA soldiers actually judging from their kit and every so often they stop and stare at some poor bugger so that this place feels more dodgy than anywhere else we've been. Charles and I managed to have a little kiss and cuddle goodbye while everyone else was putting their stuff in the mini-bus, and I didn't actually care that we was in the corridor by the bogs, it's so difficult to get time on your own when you wanna keep things secret cos there's always people everywhere isn't there?

-OG-

A bloody endless flight home with nothing to look forward to, well not for a long time anyway, but he did send me a couple of texts while we was still going which made me feel better, I didn't know you could get them while you're on a plane, but apparently you can, well obviously you can. He said he were missing me already and that he'll call me later when I've had a chance to get some kip. I've only known this bloke for about a year, and in that time I've been out with him just once, I kissed him for the first time a couple of days ago on Christmas Day and I haven't been anywhere near a bed with him but I think I love him.

Reading the five hundred e-mails that had come in while I was away and which no bugger had bothered to even open, never mind read, at the same time as listening to the post mortem of the gig in the office was making me want to scream cos I was missing him so much and Jen kept on and on about what a lovely bloke he is and how good looking 'n that, but what was even worse was that all the extra footage from Kabul has been binned so that I can only look at the broadcasted clips. Admittedly there are a fair few with him in, but I had hoped to get copies of all of it so that I could take it home, lie on the sofa to watch it and sort of day dream. One bonus is that bloody Dylan seems to have finally got the message and is leaving me alone, although he's walking about with this 'end of the world has arrived and I'm devastated' expression on his gob. Sara reckons it's just his latest plan to get back in me knickers by trying to make me feel guilty, he really doesn't know me does he?

-OG-

Three days, three fucking days and not a single, solitary word, so, so much for his promises, eh? How could he do this to me? He must know that I'll be checking me phone every two minutes and that every time someone calls or sends me a text I'll be going 'At last, where the fuck have you been?" and then it's not the right person, so, did I say that I love him? Well, I bloody well don't, I hate him. I got a bit convinced that some'ing had happened so I sent loads of messages just asking him to let me know that he's okay, in one piece, but no answer so now I've found meself thinking that some'ing had better had happened to him, or he'd better have a really good excuse lined up, not that I'll listen, I don't care anymore. Anyway, I know that if anything had happened to him it'd be on the news, and it hasn't, bastard.

New Year's Eve tonight and Sara is bloody insisting that I can't sit at home on me own with a bottle, which is what I want to do. I keep telling her I've got jet lag but she says I have to go to this party with her and Gary because getting pissed out your nut with your mate, not at home on your own, is the best cure for jet lag, but I'm really not in the mood. Getting dressed up and doing me hair and make-up all seems a bit pointless and Sara is getting on me tits cos she keeps on and on asking what the fuck is wrong. I haven't said a word about what happened out there, I was sort of hugging it to myself waiting till I knew when he'd be home before I said anything and now I'm bloody glad I never. I'm not ready to listen to my mate slagging him off every time she opens her gob, it's too early and it hurts a lot and I might cry. I was thinking about them resolutions today, I really should have stuck to number 4 shouldn't I?

-OG-

I got up about an hour ago with me mouth like a stable floor and so bleeding thirsty I could have drunk the water out of the flower vase and I'm so hungover me face belongs to someone else. Just like every other day for the past week me first thought was to check me phone, it's four days today, but then I remembered that I'd checked it at 3 o'clock this morning when we'd got home and there was still nothing, zilch, nada, not a bloody dicky bird, not even Happy New Year, so I'd told Sara and Gaz all about it, all about him and then Sara had insisted on sending him a text and right now I'm bloody scared to look and see what she said. I think I must of fell asleep/passed out before she'd finished it last night, SHIT. I'll have to look at it later when me eyes start focussing again and when I'm feeling a bit stronger, like a week next Wednesday.

Sara and I are curled up with our feet up at each end of their great big corner sofa thing and she's got her head under a cushion and is moaning quietly every few minutes cos Gary keeps on and on about how he's 'gonna cook a fry-up and it'll do us good?" I reckon he's just trying to torture us cos he only had a few last night, well probably no more than three pints at the most I reckon, although I couldn't be absolutely sure cos I might have lost count at some point, I think I lost count of me own let alone his, and he's a bleeding lightweight at the best of times. I'll tell him in a minute when I get me strength up, well enough to speak at least, that I think I might very well die and that the last thing I want to do on my death bed is to eat his bleeding fry-up.

There's some bugger ringing on the doorbell, and they keep on and on ringing but I think they might be able to tell there's someone in cos Gary is playing Queen at full volume in the kitchen just to be bloody annoying which means that both Sara and I have now got cushions over our heads. Neither of us can move, and she keeps on yelling at Gary to go and open the front door if he wants to live, and to tell the inconsiderate bastard out there ringing on the bell to shove off cos she can't possibly go when she's lost the use of her legs. I can't go cos I'm a guest here, aren't I? Which means I don't have to move, do I? And Gary keeps on yelling back that he can't go either cos he's cooking so that Sara yelled "Why the fuck are you bothering? No-one's gonna eat it"

Eventually the bloody doorbell stopped ringing so that whoever it was had obviously pissed off or Gaz had answered it and told them to do one. Actually I think Gaz answered it cos I could hear him talking to someone, I don't know who but it's all gone blissfully quiet so I didn't much care either.

"It's a delivery"

"What the fuck is it?"

I don't remember jumping up off of the sofa, although I sort of remember the head rush, but I do remember looking up and seeing him stood in the doorway still wearing combats and I remember him dropping his Bergen on the floor and putting both his arms out as I ran across the room and threw myself at him and him scooping me up so that I wound me legs round his waist and me arms round his neck, and I do remember how he tightened his arms round me until I was clinging to him like a monkey.

-OG-

 **A/N: Thanks for all your kind reviews, I will see you on Monday for Chapter 8 which will be the final chapter. Thanks to everyone for their good wishes for my visit to the dentist yesterday, as per usual paying the bill was far more painful than the treatment. My dentist is lovely, but I'm sure that I'm funding his personal charity, i.e., helping him buy his Ferrari**


	8. Chapter 8

He needed a shave, his five o'clock shadow was a bit more than just stubble, but I didn't care, like I didn't give a rat's bum where he'd sprung from or how he'd found me, he was here and he'd found me and that was all that mattered as far as I was concerned so I buried me face into his neck and clung to him. He bent his head and kissed me on the top of mine as I tightened my arms round his neck and then slowly put my legs back down on the floor cos judging by what Gary had said last night when he gave me a carry, I am a bit on the heavy side for someone who looks quite titchy.

"When did you get back? And why the fuck didn't you let me know you was coming? If this is your idea of a surprise it's a bloody shite one. I don't hear from you for four days, I mean, _four days,_ then you show up here like this, I was thinking all sorts"

I was whispering against his neck cos I didn't want Sara and Gary to hear what I was saying. I could remember being a little bit gobby about how he's a prick and how much I hated him a few hours back and I didn't want either of them to come out with some'ing about how I'd changed me tune. Alright I was still a bit angry with him but all that stuff I'd said when I was pissed and upset and angry had gone before he even bent his head to whisper back.

"I knew you would be and I'm so sorry, I had my phone stolen and my whole life is on that fucking thing, all my numbers and everything I need so that I couldn't call you or anyone or do anything. I did send you an e-mail but you obviously didn't get it and I'm so sorry that you didn't know what was happening"

Most of the hundreds of e-mails that was sitting there waiting for me were so full of meaningless crap that when I'd read and deleted the first few dozen I'd got bored shitless so I'd given up bothering without looking to see who the rest had come from. I can't tell you how sorry I was now that I'd decided that if it was some'ing important they'd call me, so his was most probably sitting there in with the few hundred others waiting to be deleted as 'out of date'.

"Who wants toast with their fry-up?"

"Go away Gaz, people are trying to die here, and take your plate of dead animal and eggs with you" Sara had finally opened both her eyes, up till then she'd been squinting through one slit of one eye which she could barely force open "Bring it near me and I'll puke"

"Is she alright?"

As soon as he spoke in more than a whisper and Sara heard his voice you could almost see the penny drop with this huge 'thunk' as to who it was who was standing there with his arms round me and it was at this point that she did her best to sit up and smile. She'd obviously forgotten what he looks like when we'd been cataloguing his shortcomings at 3 o'clock this morning, mind you, I think she'd probably have had trouble recognising herself at 3 o'clock this morning, never mind anyone else.

"Yes, I am, I'm fine, don't worry about me" She was quite obviously lying through her bloody teeth as she sat there looking like the wrath of God, so that I started to get a bit worried about just how rough I look, this wasn't exactly the reunion I'd had planned. "Did you say someone nicked your mobile? Oh shit, I hope they can't read English" "Or Anglo-Saxon" I could hear Gary muttering, he obviously remembered exactly what she'd put in that text but she just ignored him except for giving him a blisteringly filthy look, and carrying on speaking "I think you'd best just delete it, Molls, don't bother to read it first or anything" She was pulling this 'Oh fuckety fuck' face as she said it.

"Well it should be dead by now, but if not I hope that whoever's got it CAN read English" Charles had obviously worked out the text wasn't just a polite 'Happy New Year' message.

"Ignore my wife, sometimes she does things in the early hours especially when she's been drinking with …." Gary caught sight of the expression on Sara's face ….. and mine …. and changed the subject hastily "Charles, let me get you some breakfast, these two don't know what's good for them"

"No thanks, it's good of you but I think we're probably off soon, well, assuming that's alright with Molly?" He looked at me and waited until I nodded, God he's such a gentleman. Unfortunately nodding gave me a nasty repeat run of head rush so that I had to concentrate really hard on keeping still and waiting for it to go away while I controlled the urge to puke. Actually I had no problem with him eating a fry-up here, although I wanted to go home and be on me own with him, but there's nothing in my fridge except for a lump of mouldy cheese and some dead salad, well, apart from some milk which might or might not be okay and two bottles of cheap wine, so eating here was a really good idea as long as he didn't expect me to sit anywhere near him while he did it.

"Where did you stay last night?"

Gaz was making polite conversation as the two of them sat at the table and ate their fried dead animal and eggs and Sara and I sat as far away from them as we could get, while she shuddered and I sipped a cup of tea which, thank fuck, looked like staying down and I wished with all my heart that I'd known he was on his way yesterday cos I would have stayed at home on me sofa like I wanted, or I would have paced myself a bit better or some'ing, then maybe I wouldn't be suffering from alcohol poisoning this morning.

"I got back about ten, but someone wasn't at home so I waited for her and then when she didn't come back at all I thought I'd come and see if you and Sara knew where she was or at least I could get a phone number from you to call her"

"Overnighter?"

"Nope, I spent the night sitting on someone's doorstep" He laughed "You try finding a hotel on New Year's Eve without a phone, I must admit I was a tad worried at one point that the neighbours might call the police"

"Shit, sorry" I could well imagine the anxious looks my lovely, but very elderly and non-English speaking upstairs neighbours had given a stray soldier sleeping on my doorstep all night, I was a bit surprised myself that they hadn't called the police.

"It was hardly your fault was it?"

-OG-

By the time we got back to mine I was starting to feel a bit like a human being again, okay I was still a bit of a fragile one, but the urge to puke had gone cos that really would have been the icing on the cake wouldn't it? I know I've said it before, but I'm never, ever doing that again.

We dropped all our stuff in the hallway as he put his arms round me and asked if I was feeling okay or if I wanted to lie down for a bit so that I just looked at him, then raised my eyebrows and started to giggle, I couldn't help it. He looked all puzzled for a second before he started laughing as well then he lifted me up and carried me down the hall as if I didn't weigh anything at all, I must remember to tell Gaz that he obviously needs to go to the gym and do some weights. Shit, I'd forgotten that I'd left me bedroom looking like a bomb had gone off in there, well, to be honest it looked pretty much like it usually does, but he didn't seem to notice, just put me down and swept the pile of stuff off of the bed onto the chair, at least there was space on the chair because I chucked everything on the floor last night when I'd been looking for clean knickers. New Year's Resolution No 1 stop being such a slut.

"Sorry about the mess"

"What mess?...I can't see any mess" Every time he paused he kissed me, gentle little kisses dotted all over my face and my lips and my neck, kisses that were driving me nuts with the need for a whole lot more "Sorry I stink….Afghan grime….or maybe Afghan goat"

"Don't matter at all" I giggled, glad it was someone else that felt at a disadvantage for a change. He raised one eyebrow at me as if he didn't believe me so then I gave him me own apology "And _I'm s_ orry about smelling like the floor of an East End pub at closing"

"It couldn't matter less" He carried on dropping little kisses on me neck down towards me collar bones.

And suddenly it didn't, cos nothing mattered except that he was holding me face and kissing me, kisses that were gentle and soft and full of promises and then hard just like when we was in that hotel room, except that this was a whole lot better cos we didn't need to think about going anywhere. The kisses got harder as I kissed him back just as hard 'n I felt like I couldn't get close enough, that I just wanted to crawl inside his skin with him. His shirt joined my clothes on the floor, not the clothes I was wearing but the rest of my stuff that was already down there as he started peeling the things off that I _was_ wearing, teasing and kissing every inch of my skin as he slowly uncovered it driving me bloody nuts with impatience so that I began ripping the rest of his stuff off, forget slowly unpeeling him I just wanted him to be naked.

As soon as I'd got me own way and the rest of his stuff, and mine, was on the floor I started to run my hands over him. God, he's gorgeous, well he looked and felt exactly how I'd spent all that time imagining he'd look and feel and I loved the way his muscles bunched under his skin when I ran my hands down his back and round to his hips and I loved the way his hands made my body look so tiny and so _alive_ whenhe touched and stroked and nibbled and kissed, doing all the same things to me as I was doing to him. I could feel the way his breathing was changing exactly like mine was and how his breath caught in his throat when I wrapped my legs round him, and that was when I stopped thinking about anything at all and started to just _feel_ instead.

It might have been a little bit clumsy at times as we started to get to know each other better, well you know what I'm talking about, but it was all about these sensations that I'd forgotten even existed, sensations that was building and building into some'ing just out of my reach, until I was left holding me breath and concentrating everything I had in this desperate effort to get _there._ Suddenly, tidal waves of feeling swept over me and I was shuddering and shaking over and over right down to me toes, as well as digging my fingers into his shoulders and clinging onto him as he held me tight and I came back down to earth. Then it was my turn to hold onto him as tight as I could with everything I could as his body tensed and then his muscles trembled as he got there. He relaxed and flopped down against me, burying his face in my neck so that I put my hands up and stroked the curls on the back of his neck. I got a tiny bit worried when I saw the red marks on his shoulders, shit I never meant to hurt him and he's gonna have some really bad bruises later.

Neither of us said a word for bloody ages, we just lay there and held onto each other, totally wiped out and pouring with sweat and in my case at least, feeling unbelievably happy, as he kept nibbling at my bottom lip while he leaned on his forearms to hold his weight off of me . As far as I could tell from the expression on his face, I think that happy pretty much covered it for him as well. I had all these feelings, not only of wanting his body 'n that, you know, wanting to keep on having sex with him, especially if it ended up like that every time, or sleeping curled up with him, but wanting him to be safe and happy all the time, wanting to protect him from getting hurt by anyone or anything and I've never, ever felt like that about anyone in my whole life before.

"I'm sorry I've got no coffee, can do you a cup of tea if you like or a glass of wine, it's not very good wine, it's cheap 'n it's screw top, but I've got nothing else except water"

"I'll make it, strong enough to stand the spoon up with a dash of milk and two sugars, right?"

"I'll have it black if the milk's gone funny, which it might of done"

He never replied to any of that as he kissed the tip of me nose and got up and put his boxers on and I struggled to try and remember what state I'd left the bloody kitchen in. I couldn't help remembering that night he'd taken me for a Chinese and I'd 'de-slutted' everywhere before he'd picked me up, SHIT, I think this is what they call sod's law. While he was making the tea I had the chance to check out how bad I look, but thankfully I'm not too horrible, well, considering the raw material of this morning.

-OG-

There was nothing to eat, not nothing that I COULDcook, I did actually learn to do quite a bit at classes, but there was nothing TO cook, we couldn't even have baked beans on toast cos the bread was far too bloody mouldy to cut the green bits off of it so we had an Indian takeaway that he went out for. Charles took one look at the wine in me fridge and bought some lager, and I can't say I blame him actually cos the wine's so cheap and horrible that it's only okay if you drink enough of it to get pissed and then you can't taste it anymore. I really do need to get my shit together, so New Year's Resolution No 2 to get myself organised 'n do the shopping before there's nothing left in the fridge.

I don't want to even think about it, but he's got to go back in four days cos apparently he's only come home for some strategy meeting or some'ing and to sort out a replacement phone, and, well, to see me, or so he says. I'm not sure that I believe that he could just do that, bloody glad he did though. He can't go and see Sam cos his ex has taken him away for a bit before school starts back so that's a bit sad for Charles, but he says that he'll be taking Sam away on holiday at Easter when he gets home and that he wants me to come with them, so it looks like he's gonna stick around for a bit so I've got a few months to work on New Year's Resolution No 3 not to panic that he's gone off me all the time, but to trust him when he says he's not going anywhere. He says he's gonna buy a coffee thingy tomorrow, one of them George Clooney ones, so that he can have a decent cup of coffee cos he's intending to stop with me till it's time for him to go back.

I was so bloody miserable last week that I had a hard job being nice to anyone, I bit everyone's head off as soon as they said anything to me at all especially Dylan. I yelled at him so much that everyone told me to stop being a cow, or some'ing else beginning with 'c', so that 'poor Dylan' suddenly became the office martyr even though everyone usually just fucking ignores him. I decided they was all a bunch of tossers and that it was high time I looked for a decent job on a decent Channel instead of one that's a bleeding joke. And now, well, now everything's changed and I can't stop grinning.

-OG-

The time has gone by so quickly that it's hard to believe he's going back tomorrow so I'm doing me best not to get all girly or to let the waterworks start, I expect that'll happen once he's gone anyway but I don't want him to go off thinking about me weeping and snivelling, it's not fair to him cos he's got no choice about whether to go or not.

We were just holding each other and kissing and stroking a bit, we'd made love and were a bit drowsy and I knew I should let him go to sleep cos he's got this long journey in the morning, but I didn't want to, I just wanted to talk to him and to listen to him talk, sort of store it up for when he's gone. He mentioned Dylan, fuck knows why, cos I don't think he's still anxious or jealous, so I told him about me resolution from Kabul to have nothing more to do with Dylan, and how I'd maybe join a gym or a dating website, or even Tinder.

"Yup, good idea"

What? Oh holy fucking crappity shit bag, it was s'posed to be a joke, I thought he was well into me but it looked like I might of got that completely wrong and then I heard him snort that laugh of his, so I looked at his face and saw he was winding me up as much as I'd been trying to do it to him, bastard.

"Oi"

"Serves you right, you know you're not going to do any such thing"

"When I first met you I called you me Santa Claus soldier"

"What?"

After I explained he put his head back and roared with laughter then said as how he'd thought I was awesome, beautiful, I think I remember him saying that before, but also very funny and very good company.

"It was when we were in the kitchen here that I realised that not only did I still have to deal with all the shit with Rebecca, but I was in real danger of seeing my rule about getting emotionally involved go out of the window and at first I was too fucking blind or too stupid to see that you were my game changer. Knowing you, being with you has made me change my mind about just about everything, and I don't know what I'd do now if you weren't in my life"

That'll do for me.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. If you did I would be ecstatic if you could review for me so that I can be positive about what I might do next. I have no firm plan yet as to whether to look at some one shot stuff (and stick to it this time) to start thinking about a multi-chapter plot or to revisit stuff …. or whether to just take a break, I really can't make up my mind.**_


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